#funny

Now I'm just like everybody else, and it's so funny, the way monogamy is funny, the way someone falling down in the street is funny. I entered a revolving door and emerged as a human being. When you think of me is my face electronically blurred? ↗

— Jeffrey McDaniel

#letter #memory #monogamy #remember #funny

Funny how "question" contains the word "quest" inside it, as though any small question asked is a journey through briars. ↗

— Catherynne M. Valente

#quest #question #funny

Everyone wise was once a nerd, but not every awkward loser is able to grow a long beard. I can grow chin stubble, but I'm not cool enough to be a nerd. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #nerd #wisdom #funny

High school parties exhausted me because I always felt like I was the only thinking person in a room mostly full of morons obliterating precious IQ points with every gulp of whatever booze they managed to steal out of their parents' liquor cabinets. College parties are exhausting in a diametrically opposite way. They are full of smart, funny people who are all used to being the smartest, funniest person in the room, so they spend the whole party talking over one another, overlapping and overtaking the conversation to prove that they are the smartest, funniest person in the room, if not the entire planet. ↗

— Megan McCafferty

#conversation #parties #funny

The man may be the head of the household. But the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head whichever way she pleases. ↗

— Nia Vardalos

#marriage #funny

I saw you put rice in a toaster once," said Mae. "I was there when made the tin of beans explode." "It was faulty," Jamie protested, his eyes shifty. " I am sure of this. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#funny

Ares sighed "What are the three words said most often in our house?" "Not tonight, Ares?" Than offered. "Funny," Ares growled. "Cara never says that. ↗

— Larissa Ione

#sex #funny

Huge Jackman has divorced his wife and happened upon my picture in some old article and decided that I'm the woman for him? ~ Susan ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#humor #funny

She didn’t sound overjoyed. She didn’t sound even slightly joyed. ↗

— Sarah Mayberry

#humour #romance #romantic-comedy #funny

I’m currently imagining a few creative ways of causing you extraordinary amounts of pain.” Kingsley raised his chin. Mere inches separated their faces. “Stop flirting. You know we don’t have time for that. ↗

— Tiffany Reisz

#humour #funny