#funny

I know more damn perverts, at schools and all, than anybody you ever met, and they’re always being perverty when I’m around. ↗

— J.D. Salinger

#funny

I don't have a car." His eyes sliced into mine. "I walked here," I explained. "I'm on foot." "Angel," he said in a way that sounded like he sincerely hoped I was joking. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#funny #hush-hush #nora-and-patch #patch-cipriano #silence

Thank you for helping my sister,” he says. I lean forward, mimicking his position. “I’m happy to.” Calliope leans out her window. “STOP FLIRTING AND GET BACK TO WORK. ↗

— Stephanie Perkins

#cricket #flirt #funny #lola #lola-and-the-boy-next-door

Flatterers should be mistrusted, especially when they praise the dead. To seek a place in society is self-serving, but to seek one in history affects everyone. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #funny

He stood and inhaled, then walked a few more feet, stooped, and prodded a chunk of rabbit fur. “I’m definitely thinking something with more body parts,” I said. “Like a head.” He gave a snort of a laugh. “It’s probably around here somewhere, but I suppose you want the parts attached, too. ↗

— Kelley Armstrong

#funny

I’d like to make it clear from the start that I am gay, gay, gay. Like, when I come out of the closet, I’m usually wearing my sister’s prom dress kind of gay. ↗

— Gwen Hayes

#gay #funny

Is your blouse Azzedine Alaia?' 'No, you could say it's VERY authentic vintage.' Lachlain didn't care what it was; she'd never wear that damned unfinished shirt in public again. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#kresley-cole #lachlain-macrieve #funny

The Brit's face shares a heritage with a junkyard butt-sniffing mutt. It's a hard-earned moonshine mug, dotted with a hairy mole that looks like a rat's been gnawing on it. His beard looks like a white sneeze. The teeth are jagged and out of alignment, having opened quarts at Jiffy Quick Lube for half a decade. ↗

— Brett Tate

#funny #humor #humour #memoir #sex

As I make my way through, I feel okayness reaching through me. The funny thing is that okayness is not a real word. It's not in the dictionary. But it's in me. ↗

— Markus Zusak

#it-s-in-me #okayness #real-word #funny

I feel there's a funny little hole in me that wasn't there before, like a splinter in your finger, but this is somewhere above my stomach. ↗

— Louise Fitzhugh

#funny