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#funny

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny




It's a joke in the zoo business, a weary joke, that the paperwork involved in trading a shrew weighs more than an elephant, that the paperwork involved in trading an elephant weighs more than a whale, and that you must never try to trade a whale, never.


Yann Martel


#paperwork #business

. . . you worked for Harry King, they said, because a broken leg was bad for business, and Harry King was all about business.


Terry Pratchett


#funny #mob #business

No matter how strong you are, you cannot hold open the jaws of a great-white shark with your bare hands... that can do your brain.


Ivan Stoikov


#books #fantasy #fiction #humour #kids-funny-business

Never underestimate the power of funny, it moves mountains.


James Patterson


#funny

I had a religious experience at a crosswalk.


Jarod Kintz


#humor #religion #experience

I want to change my life...except I sort of like it. I mean, I couldn't be more delighted every Monday night after Fletch goes to bed when I come downstairs, pull up the Bachelor on TiVo, drink Riesling, and eat cheddar/port wine Kaukauna cheese without freakign out over fat grams. I'm perpetually in a good mood because I do everything I want. I love having the freedom to skip the gym to watch a Don Knots movie on the Disney Channel without a twinge of guilt. I've figured out how to not be beholden to what other people believe I should be doing, and when the world tells me I ought to be a size eight, I can thumb my nose at them in complete empowerment.


Jen Lancaster


#funny #weight #change

As I climbed up into the high old bed, the large fly in my personal ointment did the same. Had I actually told him he could get in bed with me? Well, I decided, as I wriggled down under the soft old sheets and the blanket and the comforter, if Eric had designs on me, I was just too tired to care. "Woman?" "Hmmm?" "What's your name?" "Sookie. Sookie Stackhouse." "Thank you, Sookie." "Welcome, Eric.


Charlaine Harris


#funny #sookie-stackhouse #true-blood #design

You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm. It's really funny.


Brandon Sanderson


#sarcasm #funny

It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.


Jarod Kintz


#funny #humor #men #sex #women

Not that smart. Not that hot. Not that nice. Not that funny. That's me: I'm not that.


John Green


#funny






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