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#funny

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny




A brick could be dropped at the feet of your enemy, as a gift, as an insult, as a way of saying “I’ll tear down the wall between us—and tear down the walls of your life.” Then you might try offering him a cheese sandwich.
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— Jarod Kintz


#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. ↗


— Walt Disney


#any #ever #i #i love #known

Every time you strip my sword, I owe you a kiss. How's that sound?" I bit my lip to keep from giggling. "That sounds really dirty." Patch waggled his brows. "Look whose mind just rolled into the gutter. ↗


— Becca Fitzpatrick


#finale #funny #hush-hush #love #nora-grey

Isn’t it so weird how the number of dead people is increasing even though the earth stays the same size, so that one day there isn’t going to be room to bury anyone anymore? For my ninth birthday last year, Grandma gave me a subscription to National Geographic, which she calls “the National Geographic.” She also gave me a white blazer, because I only wear white clothes, and it’s too big to wear so it will last me a long time. She also gave me Grandpa’s camera, which I loved for two reasons. I asked why he didn’t take it with him when he left her. She said, “Maybe he wanted you to have it.” I said, “But I was negative-thirty years old.” She said, “Still.” Anyway, the fascinating thing was that I read in National Geographic that there are more people alive now than have died in all of human history. In other words, if everyone wanted to play Hamlet at once, they couldn’t, because there aren’t enough skulls! ↗


— Jonathan Safran Foer


#funny #weird #funny

A dirty diaper doesn’t double as a dishrag, and a politician doesn’t double as a savior.
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— Jarod Kintz


#humor #politicians #politics #funny

You dance?” “I think that might be overly optimistic,” he said. “I do something. I’ll try not to hurt you. ↗


— Robyn Carr


#funny #humour #romance #funny

No wonder Wonderland isn't funny to read anymore: We live there full time. We need a break from it. ↗


— Gregory Maguire


#funny

We made love like a half a minute. I brought the thirty seconds, and she provided the excuse as to why she didn’t have enough time to have sex with me.
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— Dark Jar Tin Zoo


#funny #humor #love #relationships #sex

After that came her biggie: a triple murder--her dealer, the dealer's sister, and the dealer's sister's boyfriend. Reading that made me feel a little funny that we'd fucked and I'd loved her. ↗


— George Saunders


#humor #regret #love

I love you and I don’t care who knows it. I want to express your uninhibited self-promotion. ↗


— Bauvard


#humor #love #love






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