#funny

There are many other little refinements too, Mr. Bohlen. You'll see them all when you study the plans carefully. For example, there's a trick that nearly every writer uses, of inserting at least one long, obscure word into each story. This makes the reader think that the man is very wise and clever. So I have the machine do the same thing. There'll be a whole stack of long words stored away just for this purpose." Where?" In the 'word-memory' section," he said, epexegetically. ↗

— Roald Dahl

#funny #humor #humour #funny

Incompetence in mathematics is no proof of brilliance. You must be ignorant of science and geography as well. That is the gold standard of American education. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #ignorance #math #science

Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #science #education

The amount of educational programming on television today is simply desensitizing. The only reason left to go to school is to see gun violence. ↗

— Bauvard

#education #funny #gun-violence #humor #television

A lot of brainless unicorns swaggering about and calling themselves educated just because they can push each other off a horse with a bit of a stick! It makes me tired. ↗

— T.H. White

#merlyn #the-once-and-future-king #education

One fall day in Boston, a tall mechanical engineering student named Joe entered the student union at Harvard University. He was all ambition and acne ↗

— Dan Ariely

#funny

A brick could be used to determine whether you are really in love or not. But you’re never going to be able to tell for sure if you try to run the experiment with the brick upside down. Keep flipping the brick over until the desired outcome is reached, and then you’ll know for certain the test is valid.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

In high school I got voted most likely to get voted for something. Even though I was the only one who voted, it still felt terrific being nominated. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#high-school #humor #funny

My second thought was to fire a gunshot, but the last time I did that his security robots jumped me. It only takes one cavity search by a robot to convince you that’s an experience you don’t want to have twice. This called for a more subtle approach. ↗

— John Zakour

#humour #search #experience

Just relax and breathe through your ass. ↗

— Lewis Black

#funny #humor #noremorse #faith