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#funny

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny




Going to jail is the failure of the individual to realize his limitations as a criminal. Recidivism is the failure of his friends to compensate for those limitations as a team.


Bauvard


#funny #humor #jail #prison #redicivism

The earth must be flat – there's a dunce in every corner of it I travel to.


Bauvard


#flat-earth #funny #humor #stupidity #funny

Mimi had red hair and blue eyes, and was rather patriotic in her appearance. When the wind blew her hair around, I was always tempted to place my hand over my heart and recite the Pledge of Allegiance.


Jarod Kintz


#patriotic #funny

We walked on the moon. We made footprints somewhere no one else had ever made footprints, and unless someone comes and rubs them out, those footprints will be there forever because there’s no wind.


Frank Cottrell Boyce


#funny #moon #funny

Vampires have credit cards?" "We're undead, not Amish.


Jennifer Colgan


#humor #vampires #funny

Besides, do you think you would have come if I’d just popped into your tattoo shop one night around closing and said, ‘Hello, I’m the Prince of Darkness. Think you could help me out with a little war next Tuesday, say, sixish?


Richard Kadrey


#lucifer #funny

My Date was waiting for me at the kitchen door, ears perked, tail wagging and bits of wicker clinging to his nose and mouth" --Abby Shaw, Sucker Punched


Sammi Carter


#dating

Christopher throws dandelion head after dandelion head into his bag. It's getting heavy now and his fingers are stained from the work but there are still so many left to kill. His biggest mistake is giving them names.


Brian Martinez


#funny #odd #quirky #weeds #funny

A ransom note, the true test of unconditional love.


Bauvard


#humor #kidnapping #love #funny

I was a cool person in college, but now that I’m old I’m just nifty.


Benson Bruno


#funny #humor #funny






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