#funny

It's funny, because I did all of these interviews as soon as I had the baby, and they were asking questions, and I really didn't have an idea of anything, because I was so blurry. ↗

— Emily Procter

#asking #asking questions #baby #because #did

He took a long draw then asked, “What’d I do?” “You knew about the guy threatening my dad?” He paused, shifted in his chair, so freaking busted, it wasn’t funny. “They told you?” “Why, no, Swopes, they didn’t. Instead, they waited until the guy knocked the fuck out of my dad and readied him for spaceflight with duct tape then tried to kill me with a butcher’s knife. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#funny

Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type. ↗

— Colin Quinn

#cake #chelsea #eat #funny #griffin

You can't make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody. ↗

— Colin Quinn

#funny #gotta #just #just be #laugh

You know how it is with writing. You just write what you want to write. There's no way to predict what is good or bad. You just do what you think is funny, and either it works or you're finished. It's impossible to predict anything. ↗

— Colin Quinn

#bad #either #finished #funny #good

Funny you mention my dinner parties when I have just suggested that inviting close friends over to share a meal with candlelight and wine at your table could be a form of religious experience for some people. To me it's a form of sacrament. ↗

— Sally Quinn

#close #close friends #could #dinner #dinner parties

Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement. ↗

— Ronald Reagan

#before #i #opening #questions #refuse

What were you thinking?" I demanded once we were moving to the music. I was trying to ignore his hands. "Do you know how much trouble you may have gotten me in?" Adrian grinned. "Nah. They all feel bad for you. You'll achieve martyrdom after dancing with a mean, wicked vampire. Job security with the Alchemists. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#funny #hilarious #indigo-spell #romance #sydney-sage

Tea should be as bitter as wormwod and as sharp as a two eged sword Kit Snicket (a series of unfortunate events) ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor #lemony-snicket #series-of-unfortunate-events #tea #funny

CONFESSION NO. 1 Most women find the bloating, cramping, and bitchiness of PMS bothersome at worst. I turn into a monster a week before my period…literally. ↗

— Ronda Thompson

#funny