#funny

If it weren’t for love, poets would all be out of a job. As it is, they starve to death and write profound thoughts about that deep, deep feeling. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#humor #love #death

Or maybe I, like, cuddle raped him or something. ↗

— Lauren Barnholdt

#love #relationships #love

Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day. ↗

— Jennifer Aniston

#dramatic #funny #life #same

The poet will only be recited until the death of his language. The violinist will only give recitals until the bowing of nose hairs. ↗

— Bauvard

#greatness #humor #music #noses #poetry

I never thought I'd hear myself say it, but safety first! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#funny #harrypotter #lol #safety #weasley

Being fed, and having a soft bed, and other people being in charge, seemed the most wonderful prospect in the world at that moment. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#funny #death

Her dad died unexpectedly, so I hid the flowers, because flowers are reminders of spring and life, and also of headstones and death. Also, I hid the flowers because they were for another woman. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#flowers #funny #life #woman #death

Since when are you so 'faithful'? just a couple of years ago you would show up in your tight jeans and borrow our car to pick up one of your five girlfriends. You think that beard makes you a man of God? ↗

— Dalia Sofer

#farnaz #funny #insult #septembers-of-shiraz #faith

If I die, who’s going to take care of my shadow? Or will it return to the night, from whence it came? While I sleep at night I keep my shadow folded neatly in my underwear drawer. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#die #funny #random #shadow #death

You put funny people in funny costumes and paint them green and we could talk about anything we wanted to, because that was the only thing that fascinated Gene about this particular genre. ↗

— Majel Barrett

#anything #because #costumes #could #fascinated