#funny

Patch leaned back against the booth and arched his eyebrows at me. The gesture said it all: Pay up. "You got lucky," I said. "I'm about to get lucky. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#crescendo #cute #funny #get-lucky #hush-hush

They said I was a valued customer, now they send me hate mail. ↗

— Sophie Kinsella

#humor #humour #shopping #funny

I read books so dry even a cactus couldn’t grow on them. But who cares? I’m not a farmer, I’m a thinker. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#farmer #funny #humor #read-books #thinker

Funny, how moms can tell you what to do no matter how old or big you are. ↗

— Gabrielle Reece

#funny #how #matter #moms #old

This is the biggest damn IPod I've ever seen," Claire said, which made him choke on his beer. "Kidding. I have seen a jukebox before. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#feast-of-fools #funny #humor #rachel-caine #shane-collins

It's funny," she said, with a strange hitch in her voice, "but I never wanted to be tied to anyone. Never wanted to be owned or to belong to another person. But now I realize that belonging with someone is completely different. I belong with you, Con." "And I with you." He kissed her, sealing them together with a bond she didn't mind, and one that would never be broken. ↗

— Larissa Ione

#funny

At least my happiness doesn't depend on Ron's goalkeeping ability. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#funny

Somehow the idea of Montgomery as a fairy doesn't have the same effect on me as it appears to have on you. -Raphael ↗

— Nalini Singh

#fairy #funny #raphael #funny

When trees are blocking your horizon, build a balcony. The sunset will be breathtaking, but not as literally as the stumps. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#humor #trees #funny

Then I say, "Let's go and brush our teeth." So Lola says, "But Charlie, I can't brush my teeth because somebody is using my tooth." "But who would use your toothbrush?" I ask. Lola says "I think that lion. I saw a lion with my toothbrush and now he's brushing his teeth with it." "But it isn't this your toothbrush Lola?" "Oh," says Lola, "he must be using yours. ↗

— Lauren Child

#funny #humor #funny