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#funny

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #funny




-What's so funny?" "-Sorry," David said, reddening again. "You just taste so sweet." "-What do you mean, sweet?" He licked his bottom lip one more time. "-You taste like honey." "-Honey?" "-Yeah, I thought I was going nuts the day...well, you know, that one day. But it was the same today. Your mouth is really sweet." He paused for a second, then grinned. "-Hot like honey-like nectar. That makes more sense." "-Great. Now I'm going to have to explain that to everyone I kiss for the rest of my life unless it's you or another faerie." She'd almost said Tamani's name. Her fingers flew to the ring around her neck. David shrugged. "-Then don't kiss anyone except me." "-David..." "-I'm just offering up the obvious solution," he said, hands up in protest.


Aprilynne Pike


#funny #kiss #laurel #wings #funny

This is precisely why I loathed being a teacher! Young people are so infernally convinced that they are absolutely right about everything. Has it not occurred to you, my poor puffed-up poppinjay, that there might be an excellent reason why the Headmaster of Hogwarts is not confiding every tiny detail of his plans to you? Have you never paused, while feeling hard-done-by, to note that following Dumbledore's orders has never yet led you into harm? No. No, like all young people, you are quite sure that you alone feel and think, you alone recognise danger, you alone are the only one clever enough to realise what the Dark Lord may be planning.


J.K. Rowling


#teaching #funny

I'm talking about doing something good for mankind. Imagine how awesome everyone would feel if they knew all that holy stuff was real." -Gregori "Stuff? Four years of giving sermons, and that what I get back? Holy stuff?


Kerrelyn Sparks


#funny

It's funny how people think that they have "a right to life". Now isn't that the biggest load you ever heard? You don't have a right to shit your pants on Sunday. Let's take it back to the jungle. Where the fuck are your rights there? No layers in the jungle. Civilization has allowed the weak to survive. You can sit back and be an overweight, apathetic piece of shit, smoke your dope and still survive because you have a right to life.


Henry Rollins


#life #funny

What have you done to your hair?” Mom’s broken voice said, pinning me back to this tiny hospital room. “Holy shit!” Icka patted her head as if searching. “You think the nurse stole it? She looked shady.


Phoebe Kitanidis


#humor #icka #kitanidis #phoebe #whisper

Ah college years, those were the days. Pure freedom ... leaving home for the first time…the parties…” "What about the tutorials, the lectures, the large building with all the books called the ‘library’?” “Is that what those were?” Gerry blithely replied.


E.A. Bucchianeri


#college #colleges #funny #humor #humour

Talk about getting off tangent. My mother's friend may have just killed his wife and my parents are sitting there talking about cows.


Wendy Lichtman


#funny

A blanket, coupled with an impressive erection, could serve as a suitable replacement for a lost tent at next year’s “Bring your son to work night” at NAMBLA’s manufacturing plant. What does NAMBLA make? NAMBLA makes me sick.



Jarod Kintz


#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

Cake is for the weak,” Mom always says. Funny, I thought it was for birthdays.


Danielle Joseph


#humor #funny

Who's stupid now, Jimbo?!


April Henry


#character-quote #funny-as-hell #gun-point #humor #funny






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