#funny

This is the great thing about Northern Ireland. I walk down the street and people stop me and say things like, 'I know you. You're that wee golfer, aren't you?' I say, 'Yeah, that's me.' They say, 'Keep it up, wee man.' It's very funny and that's why I want to stay here as long as possible. ↗

— Rory McIlroy

#down #funny #golfer #great #great thing

We have never been strictly political, only strictly funny. ↗

— Adrian Edmondson

#funny #never #only #political #strictly

Promise me, Amelie, that you’ll crucify me with silver before you allow me to fall in love.” “I hardly think there’s any chance of that,” Amelie said. "I doubt you have the capacity. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#eve-rosser #funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass

The list of women he’s slept with is longer than his penis. The list is three inches long.  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #naughty #penis #sex #slut

(...) Since I was a kid." "Which you refer to as 'back when you were happy.'" "Right. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#sadness #suicide #funny

No need, no, need. Life is already too short to find it. ↗

— Jessica Day George

#romance #funny

My new employer made me get a drug test, so I ripped off my shirt, flexed my muscles, and said, “You suspect me of taking steroids, don’t you? ↗