#funny

I never said most of the things I said. ↗

— Yogi Berra

#i #most #never #said #things

It's so different when you change your hair color, you're treated so differently. It's a very funny experience. It's fun - I love changing up my hair. ↗

— Kate Bosworth

#changing #color #different #differently #experience

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. ↗

— David Brenner

#anything #children #eat #person #vegetarian

I think I knew I was funny in Elementary School. I think most funny people realize it when they're young. It tends to come out of stress or trauma - something that makes you want to be funny. ↗

— Julie Brown

#elementary #elementary school #funny #funny people #i

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. ↗

— Johnny Carson

#christmas #early #lose #mail #office

I play these sort of comical instruments I invented, like the electric rake and the electric plunger. I do a lot of almost stand-up comedy material. Just the juxtaposition of the different styles in itself sometimes is funny. Like, I do sort of an acoustic version of 'Purple Haze' that has some bluegrass licks in it. ↗

— Eugene Chadbourne

#almost #bluegrass #comedy #different #different styles

Though my stomach is only the size of a pea, I could eat two politicians’ brains.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#eat #eating #food #funny #humor

We definitely have our finger on the pulse. You have to keep up. We decide what to watch by what's funny. ↗

— Shawn Wayans

#definitely #finger #funny #keep #our

When I was in the second grade, I used to think love was the feeling a man gets while riding a motorcycle and having a woman embrace him tightly from behind. Maybe I’m cynical now, but I’m starting to think love is a unicycle with a flat tire. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #age

But with comedy it's a simple premise. If it's funny, people laugh. If it's not, they don't. ↗

— Steve Coogan

#funny #laugh #people #premise #simple