#funny

Normal" is just a setting on your dryer. ↗

— Patsy Clairmont

#humor #funny

That face. That body. And you know he’s packing. Look at the angle on that dangle. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#funny

Sometimes he hated that voice in his brain, the one that slapped him upside the head anytime he got too stupid. Funny, it happened a lot with Sienna. ↗

— Nalini Singh

#funny

Wait!" Conrad said. "Did someone... one of my enemies set this fire?" Nix turned back with a grin. "Unless you'd pissed off some wirring-hungry nutrias, then I'm going with no. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#funny

I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #writing #funny

A man's plumbing is like his mind: simple, very few surprises. You ladies, on the other hand...well, God put a lot of thought in making you. ↗

— Khaled Hosseini

#funny #humor #male #funny

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. ↗

— Brooke Shields

#important #killed #kills #life #lost

You're not just doing that to impress her, are you?" "Everything I do is to impress her. It's my mission in life," he said with a completely serious face, while he squeezed my knee under the table. Mom burst out laughing. "I like him," she said. "Me too. I think I'll keep him," I said, taking his hand and twisting my fingers with his. "Good," he said, giving my hand a squeeze. ↗

— Chelsea M. Cameron

#funny #hunter-zaccadelli #my-favorite-mistake #sweet #taylor-and-hunter

I am who I say I am, I'm not some fantasy of how you think you think you know or who I ought to be. I am a girl who is growing up in my own sweet time, I am a girl who knows enough to know this life is mine. I am this and I am that and I am everything in-between. I'm a dreamer, I'm a dancer, I'm a part-time drama queen. I'm a worrier, I'm a warrior, I'm a loner and a friend, I'm an outspoken defender of justice to the end. I'm the girl in the mirror who likes the girl she sees, I'm the girl in the gypsy shawl with music in her knees. I'm a singer and a scholar, I'm a girl who has been kissed. I'm a solver of equations wearing bangles on my wrist. I am bigger than i ever knew, I am stronger than before, I am every girl I have ever been, and all that are in store. I am who I say I am. I'm not some fantasy. I am the me I am inside. I am who I chose to be. ↗

— James Howe

#funny #inspiring #poem #funny

Philosophizing: a term defined by logicians to denigrate lyric thinkers. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#humor #logic #philosophy #funny