#funny

I’m a romantic. I like cold coffee and orgasms that arrive fifteen minutes after I’ve put on my clothes and paid the lady. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #hooker #orgasms #funny

Yes, I see the Mobile Base System really is the shoulder of the arm. The arm is right there, like a human arm. It's really funny to look at the similarities between a human arm and the Canadian robotics arm. ↗

— Philippe Perrin

#base #between #canadian #funny #human

Looks like he's lost a guinea and found a farthing," Horace said, then added, unnecessarily, "Will, I mean." Halt turned in his saddle to regard the younger man and raised an eyebrow. "I may be almost senile in your eyes, Horace, but there's no need to explain the blindly obvious to me. I'd hardly have thought you were referring to Tug. ↗

— John Flanagan

#funny

Bug spray.” Mosquitoes never bother me, but apparently they eat Tucker alive if he forgets bug spray. So I wear it for solidarity. “All the kids wear it,” I explain to Mom. “They say the mosquito is the Wyoming state bird. ↗

— Cynthia Hand

#funny

She sighed. Loudly. "Physical appearance is not what is important." Yeah right. Tell that to any girl who hasn't bothered to put on a presentable shirt or fix her hair because she's only running into the grocery store to get a quart of milk for her grandmother, and who does she see tending the 7-ITEMS-OR-LESS cash register but the guy of her dreams, except she can't even say hi- much less try to develop a meaningful relationship- since she looks like the poster child for the terminally geeky. ↗

— Vivian Vande Velde

#funny #geek #girls #heir-apparent #dreams

I have a system with bathrooms. I spend a lot of time in them. They are sanctuaries, public places of peace spaced throughout the world for people like me. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#sanctuary #funny

I sit quietly and think about my mom. It's funny how memory erodes, If all I had to work from were my childhood memories, my knowledge of my mother would be faded and soft, with a few sharp memories standing out. ↗

— Audrey Niffenegger

#happiness #loss #love #memory #mother

He shook his head. He didn't know. He couldn't tell when he had woken fully. He walked to the horses. They definitely seemed alarmed. But then, they would. After all, he had just leapt to his feet unexpectedly, waving his saxe knife around like a lunatic. ↗

— John Flanagan

#funny

From Kelsey, I have learned among many other things the value of turning on a dime and how you can have an extremely funny and extremely poignant moment with absolutely no separation in between... and sometimes in the same moment. ↗

— David Hyde Pierce

#among #between #dime #extremely #funny

On some level in acting, what you're trying to find is truth, because when it's true is when it's also funny. ↗

— David Hyde Pierce

#also #because #find #funny #level