#funny

Yeah, I was thinking about taking one of those showers where you huddle in the corner fully clothed and cry," Archer offered. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#funny #sophie #funny

Being dead wasn't supposed to hurt. Where was the fairness in that? If I was dead, the least the universe could do was make it painless ↗

— Kiersten White

#funny #kiersten-white #paranormalcy #funny

Nothing in this world feels quite like freedom, except for freedom. And nothing in the world tastes quite like freedom, except for fried bald eagles. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#freedom #funny #freedom

Nothing is funnier than unhappiness. ↗

— Samuel Beckett

#endgame #funny #unhappiness-nothing #funny

What are you?" I whispered. "What are you?" Offended, I frowned. "Human." "Funny, me too." "No, you're not." "Funny, neither are you." I set my jaw and glared. What a jerk. "Why did you come here?" My voice came from his mouth, disconcerting as always. "I could ask you the same thing. Are you going to kill me? ↗

— Kiersten White

#funny

I want the US government to dispense with all the “red tape,” and start using Caution tape. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#caution-tape #funny #government #red-tape #us-government

There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#editing #funny #people #typo #world

I [dad] spent hours on the phone. Do you know with whom?' 'One of those psychic hotlines?' Dad gritted his teeth. 'If only... ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#funny

When mice run, cats give chase. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#life #nature #funny

Kate's Speciality: Killing things, with much bloodshed. Talking trash, infuriating authority. Driving Beast Lord crazy. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#ilona-andrews-website #kate-daniels #magic-bleeds #funny