#funny

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person. ↗

— Janeane Garofalo

#because #been #class #class clown #clown

A man wrapped up in himself always suffocates. But his loved ones will forever hold in their hearts the memory of that Christmas. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #love #suffocation #funny

Working for Mab now, are you, Wolfman?" he smirked. "Like a good little attack dog? Will you also roll over and beg if she asks? ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#puck #funny

Hitler: Thank you, whoever you are. I think you just saved my life. The Doctor: Believe me... It was an accident. ↗

— Steven Moffat

#dr-who #funny #hitler #tardis #funny

A funny thing happens in real estate. When it comes back, it comes back up like gangbusters. ↗

— Barbara Corcoran

#back up #comes #estate #funny #funny thing

A good artist is willing to die many times over. What's funny is, I've died so many times. ↗

— Billy Corgan

#die #died #funny #good #i

Honestly, as much as I love my brother, I’m not sure how I feel about him hanging out in your bedroom.” He reached out with a muscular arm and used his fingers to brush a few strands of hair off my cheek, tucking them behind my ear. I shivered, and he smiled. “I feel like I need to mark my territory.” “Shut up.” “Oh, I love it when you get all bossy-pants. It’s sexy. ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#funny #katy #funny

With faith the size of a mustard seed, you can indeed move a mountain, but you can hardly be expected to garnish your sandwich. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#faith #funny #humor #mountains #mustard-seed

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave. ↗

— Quentin Crisp

#funny thing #grave #happened #life #me

Insider trading is a serious crime. Do you know what the penalty for doing it is? Nothing, if you’re a member of Congress.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#corruption #crime #criminal #crooked #filthy