#funny

Love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me double check. Yep, love is a feeling. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#feeling #funny #humor #love #age

Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#amazement #amazing #commas #editing #funny

Love is you wearing her favorite shirt of yours, just like you did yesterday and the day before. And the day before that too. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #age

As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #age

Most kids start talking by age two. I didn't say a word until I was twelve. I was just angry and defiant I guess. My first word wasn't "Mom" or "Dad." It was "No. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dad #defiant #funny #mom #age

33 old people went into a nursing home, and only 34 people came out alive. One old woman died while giving birth to twins. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#age #birth #bizarre #child #children

I’ve got a way with love. Away with love. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #sad #age

Love has a certain weightlessness to it, much as my meaty penis would on the moon. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #moon #age

If love were a variety of dog, I’d want mine hot. I’d take my love with ketchup and mustard. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #age

A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important, a maid. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #ridiculous #wife