#funny

The only guaranteed way to make something not very funny is to make it vague. ↗

— Thomas Lennon

#guaranteed #make #only #something #vague

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. ↗

— Jay Leno

#beverly #beverly hills #call #dad #day

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. ↗

— Jay Leno

#designated #designated driver #driver #each #reason

I think the funny thing about acting for me - and I hold it in a very holy, spiritual way - not to be overly fundamentalist about it, but it's that important to me - is that it is an ancient healing art. ↗

— Melissa Leo

#acting #ancient #art #fundamentalist #funny

Sometimes I think what I write is funny in its quiet way. ↗

— Doris Lessing

#i #i think #i write #quiet #sometimes

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I. ↗

— Oscar Levant

#am #blue #i #red #roses

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life. ↗

— Richard Lewis

#days #glorious #half #life #love

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. ↗

— Richard Lewis

#analyst #back #because #behind #help

So, I'm the Eighth Wonder of the World. It's flattering and very, very funny. ↗

— Eva Longoria

#flattering #funny #i #very #wonder

Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them. ↗

— George Lopez

#be nice #i #nice #relative #them