#funny

It will never belong in a Hallmark card, but I drove a car into a house and killed a man for you. You chained me up for days and I still wanted to come back and talk over our darkly sordid, slightly kinky, and a lot warped relationship. Face it, you're stuck with me. ↗

— Kylie Scott

#ros #sweet #relationship

There are few things more mysterious than endings. I mean, for example, when did the Greek gods end, exactly? Was there a day when Zeus waved magisterially down from Olympus and Aphrodite and her lover Ares, and her crippled husband Hephaestus ) I always felt sorry for him), and all the rest got rolled up like a worn-out carpet? ↗

— Salley Vickers

#era #funny #gods #greek #irony

I feel like I've been ironing all day in high heels and no brassiere. ~Tizzy Donovan, Laid Out and Candle Lit ↗

— Ann Everett

#humor #mystery #romantic-comedy #texas #romantic

Our conversation starts out pretty normal. Matthew does most of the talking, as usual. He tells me about Wesley. He tells me everything. Well, almost everything. I was lucky enough to stop him before he got into the explicit details. Wesley also helped by nudging him with his shoulder. He even covered Matthew's mouth when the conversation took a sudden turn because the word package was used. Yeah, the conversation went from sweet and romantic to soft-core porn in about two seconds. ↗

— L. Arthur

#romantic

I have a funny side. I have a soft and sympathetic side. I have a serious side, and a seriously romantic side. I have lots of sides; it's the main course I haven't quite figured out. ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#personality #richelle #richelle-goodrich #sides #romantic

I was flipping channels, watching this cheerleading program on MTV. They took a field hockey girl and “transformed” her into a cheerleader by the end of the show. I was just wondering: what if she liked field hockey better? ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#books #cool #culture #desire #emotion

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. ↗

— Frank Sinatra

#all day #day #drink #feel #going

It's funny because a lot of people that know me as a dancer, don't know that I'm a singer, and a lot of people that know I can sing don't know I can dance. And so, I feel like at some point I have to show them both and really be able to display it and showcase it, and put that out there. ↗

— Naima Adedapo

#because #both #dance #dancer #display

What did that stupid deserting crap-bag ex-boyfriend, ex-best friend with the most perfect stupid hair do? He DIDN'T delete his crap off the desktop before he fled my life and left me all alone. That's what he did. ↗

— James Patterson

#anger

I'd love to be what I have been. ↗

— Raheel Farooq

#ego #funny #personality #self-awareness #self-esteem