#funny

Mystics are all a bit funny in the head anyway," the priest added cynically, "which is why the church locks them all up in mental hospitals and euphemistically calls these institutions monasteries. ↗

— Robert Anton Wilson

#sarcasm #funny

Crystal ball and candle light, I want your dance tonight. Show me the power of love as we stand together in the middle of the night. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#love #poetry #funny

You gazed at the moon and fell in the gutter. ↗

— Thomas Fuller

#funny-motivational-quotes #funny

In the old legends, Arachne had gotten into trouble because of pride. She’d bragged about her tapestries being better than Athena’s, which had led to Mount Olympus’s first reality TV punishment program: 'So You Think You Can Weave Better Than a Goddess?' Arachne had lost in a big way. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#athena #funny #humor #lol #wicked

Hey, check this weirdo out." Hi was inspecting a bust on the mantel. "This face is ninety percent eyebrow. What do you want to bet he owned slaves?" Scowling to match the carving's expression, Hi spoke in a gravelly voice. "In my day, we ate the poor people. We had a giant outdoor grill, and we cooked up peasant steaks every Sunday." ↗

— Kathy Reichs

#funny #hi #humor #kathy-reichs #poor-people

I didn't do anything wrong. I swear.' He grunted. 'Like I've never heard that before. Funny, but I expected a little more originality from Moira's daughter.' 'Yeah, well, the dog ate my notebook with all my good excuses. ↗

— Mindee Arnett

#funny #humorous #quote #funny

I gave a relenting sigh. "Fine! I'll throw on some clothes. Turn around. I'm in my pj's." Pj's that consisted of nothing but a tank top and boy shorts--an image I didn't want to sear into Scott's mind. Scott smiled. "I'm a guy. That's like asking a kid not to glance at the candy counter." Ugh. The dimple in his cheek deepened. And it was not in any way cute... pg 196 ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#nora-grey-and-scott #funny

Day drag." Ashley answered simply. "The sun turns vampires into dust and drag queens into this." He motioned with his hand down his body. ↗

— Kyle Adams

#drag-queen #funny #gay #glbt #mm

Sacrifice without sweat is a double appearance, but only half an illusion. People think you've done good, but they know you look good. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #sacrifice #funny

Making love to a person in their sleep is the only guarantee they'll wake up with a smile on their face. ↗

— Bauvard

#happiness #humor #love #sleep #smiling