#funny

Your level of neuroses will only find love in a made-for-TV movie. ↗

— Michelle Hodkin

#funny #humor #funny

Coach," Annabeth said, "it was an accident. We were talking, and we fell asleep." "Besides," Percy said, "you're starting to sound like Terminus." Hedge narrowed his eyes. "Is that an insult, Jackson? 'Cause I'll-I'll Terminus you, buddy! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #lol #percy-i-love-you-bye #roman #terminus

He let you have the pants anyway?" she asked. I had started talking about Maxon as soon as I could, eager to know how their conversation had gone. "Yeah. He was very generous about it all." "I think it's charming that he's a good winner." "He is a good winner. He's even gracious when he's gotten the raw end of things." Like a knee to the royal jewels, for example. ↗

— Kiera Cass

#funny

I shook my head. She kissed my cheek, then on her way out patted Zachary's shoulder in a way that said, If you upset Aura in her weakened state, I will end you. ↗

— Jeri Smith-Ready

#shade #funny

I should go in alone," Valkyrie said, speaking loudly to be heard. "If we both go in, it'll look to official." "So I'll just stay out here?" Skulduggery asked. "But what'll I do? There's no one to talk to. It's boring." "You're standing on the roof of a train," Valkyrie pointed out. "If you find this boring, you really need your head examined. Just wait here. I'll do what has to be done and I'll be find out. "Fine," he said, sounding grumpy. "Don't be long. ↗

— Derek Landy

#skulduggery #funny

If everyone were a parasite on society, that would just be too many artists to support. That's why I'm glad I have friends and relatives. Someday, I might even be grateful to have them. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #parasitism #funny

I told you I didn’t want to go. Of course, I really did want to go, but I just said I didn’t want to go so you’d beg me to go and I could feel needed. I’m needy like that. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #needy #funny

I love Agatha like uh huh. I love her like an elephant needs nasty rhinoplasty and plastic rhino sex. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#love #funny

You’re probably wondering what sort of “secret society” I’m in. Well, I can’t tell you much, but I can tell you it’s not the Skull and Bones, the Masons, or the Cacophony Society. No, this secret society is so secret that I’m not even sure I’m a member. I can tell you the group I might belong to calls itself “The Whispers,” and takes its secrecy very seriously. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#secret-society #funny

I'm a whore!" Miki hit the brakes...her hands.. gripping the steering wheel, glanced at Sara. "You're not wearing any underwear, are you?" Sara let out a strangled squeal... ↗

— Shelly Laurenston

#humour #paranormal-romance #sexy #funny