#hum

Being in love, as both Plato and David Bowie have pointed out, is horrible. ↗

— Stefano Benni

#humor #love #plato #humor

I was rubbing the pieces of bacon like they were strands of a lover’s hair. Of course they weren’t, because all my exes had hair like scrambled eggs. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bacon #funny #humor #love #surreal

Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#courage

Washington's all abstraction. It's about access to power and nothing else. I mean, I'm sure it's fun if you're living next door to Seinfeld, or To Wolfe, or Mike Bloomberg, but living next door to them isn't what New York is about, In Washington people literally talk about how many feet away from John Kerry's house their own house is. The neighborhoods are all so blah, the only thing that turns people on is proximity to power. It's a total fetish culture. People get this kind of orgasmic shiver when they tell you they sat next to Paul Wolfowitz at a conference or got invited to Grover Norquist's breakfast. ↗

— Jonathan Franzen

#freedom #humor #washington #freedom

Nothing conceals a woman's age like musky perfume. It makes her smell as ancient as Persia. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #perfume #women #age

Ever since I was a child I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential. ↗

— Bruce Lee

#child #development #duty #ever #expansion

When you don't hold your pipe with the proper poise, smoking is very hazardous for your image. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #self-image #smoking #funny

I despise the rituals of fake friendship. I wish we could just claw each other's eyes out and call it a day; instead we put on huge radiant smiles and spout compliments until our teeth hurt from the saccharine sweetness of it all. ↗

— Jody Gehrman

#fake #friends #friendship #humor #pretense

Humanity lives and always has lived on certain elemental provisions. ↗

— Charles Wagner

#certain #elemental #humanity #lived #lives

When the wedding march sounds the resolute approach, the clock no longer ticks, it tolls the hour. The figures in the aisle are no longer individuals, they symbolize the human race. ↗

— Anne Morrow Lindbergh

#aisle #approach #clock #figures #hour