#hum

Bishop was all done with the witty converstaion. "Will you swear?" And Myrnin said, shockingly, "I will." And he proceeded to, a string of swearwords that made Claire blink. He ended with, "--frothy fool-born apple-john! Cheater of vandals and defiler of dead dogs!" and did another twirl and bow. He looked up with a red, red grin that was more like a leer. "Is that what you meant, my lord? ↗

— Rachel Caine

#claire-danvers #humor #myrnin #witty

Love like you owe nothing, and pay in full. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #age

I love Prada. Not so much the clothes, which are for malnourished thirteen-year-olds, but I covet, with covety covetousness, the shoes and handbags. Like, I LOVE them. If I was given a choice between world peace and a Prada handbag, I'd dither. (I'm not proud of this, I'm only saying.) ↗

— Marian Keyes

#humour #women #love

You want me to be your spy in a game of restaurant espionage? Will I need a code name?" "It's nothing morally reprehensible or anything, " Wes hastened to assure her. "Just curiosity." "I think your code name should be Tiberius," she said decisively. "I'll be Uhura." "Tiberius? As in James Tiberius Kirk?" Wes blinked, then grinned. "Oh my God, this is your version of flirting. How do you say 'I fancy you' in Klingon? ↗

— Louisa Edwards

#humourous-situations #humor

For the first time I could remember, I felt weak, woozy and stupid— like a human-being. Like a very small and helpless human-being. ↗

— Jeff Lindsay

#human #small #weak #dreams

We made love like a half a minute. I brought the thirty seconds, and she provided the excuse as to why she didn’t have enough time to have sex with me.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#funny #humor #love #relationships #sex

По гръбнака й преминаха парливи тръпки. (...) Винаги нещо й подсказваше да се пази от тази чувственост. Ала какво трябваше да пази сега? Една унизена гордост, едно оскърбено честолюбие, една стъпкана любов. ↗

— Димитър Димов

#love #pain #борис #гордост #димитър

I Didn't Ask to Be a Senior Citizen (I Was Drafted) ↗

— Doug Jensen

#humor #old-age #senior-citizen #age

I can remember hearing one middle-aged man who sat nearby saying 'Simmer down, boyo' to another older man seated kitty-corner to me across the doorway to one of the hallways extending out from the waiting area, except when I looked up from the book both these men were staring straight ahead, expressionless, with no sign of anyone needing to 'simmer down' in any conceivable way. ↗

— David Foster Wallace

#age

...Her parents were going to a conference for the weekend. The conference was called "Lawyers are Lovely, Great and Superb: so Why Does Everyone Think that They are Liars, Greedy and Scum?" and Mr Thomson was doing a speech called "Ten Tips to Make Lawyers as Popular as Doctors. ↗

— Jaclyn Moriarty

#lawyers #love