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#humor

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #humor




A poem for Beth: Roses are red, Violets are blue, I didn’t know what love meant, until I looked it up in the dictionary.

 ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#funny #love #poem #poet #poetry

So I told the lady Biology and high school were useless crap, I was going to get a job, and I was never coming back to school. And I didn’t. Yeah, I sure showed them. ↗


— Diana Rowland


#death

Here," Myrnin said, his voice still gentle and low. "Amelie said you had to work. No one said you had to work alone." He picked up the next part and slotted it in, took the screwdriver from Claire's numbed fingers, and fastened it with a couple of deft, fast movements. "I'll be your hands." She wanted to cry, because it was so sweet, but it wouldn't do any good. ↗


— Rachel Caine


#funny #ghost-town #humor #morganville-vampires #myrnin

I want to be the Everyman and take an IQ test and get a perfect 100. ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#funny #humor #iq-test #jarod-kintz #funny

I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor. ↗


— Louis C. K.


#i #jobs #lost #lot #met

And she didn't once say anything about this being a sin. It used to be I got the word sin slapped in my face every time I did something wrong, but come on, when you live in a sin-free family with sin-free parents and a sin-free sister, well, you can't help but sin a little extra on their behalf. ↗


— Han Nolan


#humor #sins #family

Stanley always followed the rules. All sorts of things could go wrong if you didn't. So far he'd done 1:Upon Discovery of the Fire, Remain Calm. Now he'd come to 2: Shout 'Fire!' in a Loud, Clear Voice. 'Fire!' he shouted, and then ticked off 2 with his pencil. Next was: 3: Endeavour to Extinguish Fire If Possible. Stanley went to the door and opened it. Flames and smoke billowed in. He stared at them for a moment, shook his head, and shut the door. Paragraph 4 said: If Trapped by Fire, Endeavour to Escape. Do Not Open Doors If Warm. Do Not Use Stairs If Burning. If No Exit Presents Itself Remain Calm and Await a) Rescue or b) Death. ↗


— Terry Pratchett


#death

How can it be, after all this concentrated effort and separation, how can it be that I still resemble, so very closely, my own detestable mother? ↗


— Gabrielle Hamilton


#becoming-your-parents #family #growing-up #humor #parents

A man of sense only trifles with them, plays with them, humors and flatters them, as he does with a sprightly and forward child; but he neither consults them about, nor trusts them with, serious matters. ↗


— Lord Chesterfield


#child #consults #does #flatters #forward

Good humor is the health of the soul, sadness is its poison. ↗


— Lord Chesterfield


#health #humor #poison #sadness #soul






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