#humor

The truth is never easy to take, but I’m getting better at it since I joined the thieves’ guild. I pluck it from liars' tongued when there's no bread in their mouths. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #thievery #truth #funny

The fact that she made this beeline for me both warmed my soul and made me want to turn around, walk out the door, and find a cliff to fling myself off of. ↗

— Lia Habel

#romance-funny #funny

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor

Guess who has PE first hour? This is so unfair. I start the day off perspiring like an elephant in heat. Don't the people who make up our schedule understand body odor? Don't they understand frizzy hair? ~Vee ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#humor

I tried to think of something to say. Excuse me? Hello? Marry me? Anything would have done. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #romance #sadie #humor

To err is human, to purr is feline. ↗

— Robert Byrne

#err #error #feline #human #humor

And I can see Russia from my house. ↗

— Tina Fey

#sarah-palin #humor

And you call yourself a Christian,' were Hilly's words to me and I thought, God. When did I ever do that? ↗

— Kathryn Stockett

#humor

I forgot," Isabelle muttered as the rest of them caught up to her. "Faeries have no sense of humor." "Oh, I wouldn't say that," said Jace. "There's a pixie nightclub downtown called Hot Wings. Not," he added, "that I have ever been there. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

Penguins,Lovely ↗

— Stephenie Meyer

#humor #twilight #humor