#humor

I want to make something of myself. I believe it’s called a statue. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#art #aspirations #bizarre #funny #goals

Sleeping with a man half your age can be exhausting, but if it's too much for him you can always find a younger man. ↗

— Barbara Taylor Bradford

#older-women #age

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. ↗

— George Jean Nathan

#grow #humor #men #more #more and more

Books are, let's face it, better than everything else. If we played Cultural Fantasy Boxing League, and made books go fifteen rounds in the ring against the best that any other art form had to offer, then books would win pretty much every time. ↗

— Nick Hornby

#culture #humor #love-of-reading #reading #sports

Life's too short, drive it like ya stole it! ↗

— Debra L. Hartmann

#humor #inspirational-attitude #writer #attitude

It's a reality that if you are seeking for an answer, you'll just end up with much more questions, but if you won't then be searching just because of this reality, you'll end up with nothing. ↗

— Jay Mark D. Saga-ad

#humor #inspirational #motivational #questions #reality

Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #surrealism #age

About the time he threatened her nose with his finger, Peaseblossom lost her grip on the situation with the boys. The door crashed open, and three irate fairies launched themselves at the Stage Manager. Cobweb and Moth pelted him with sequins while Mustardseed rammed beads into his ears. "Dance!" they commanded, and dance he did, hopping with impotent anger and pain from one foot to the other as he batted his meaty hands at them. ↗

— Lisa Mantchev

#fairies #humor #anger

You know, maybe we don't need enemies." "Yeah, best friends aree about all I can take. ↗

— Bill Watterson

#enemies-and-friends #friends #friendship #humor #friendship

When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard. ↗

— David Sedaris

#hard #humor #i #i think #look