#humor

Charna's Guts! ↗

— Darren Shan

#mr-crepsley #humor

Mister..." "Wrexion." Chase supplied with great dignity. "Mr.Hugh G. Wrexion. ↗

— Julie Anne Long

#humor

For what good turn? Messenger: For the best turn of the bed. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#humor

Live, die, something else lives. The very soil humanity walks upon is built up from death. Digging into a flowerbed means digging into bones. ↗

— M. Jones

#death #frankie-and-formaldehyde #gallows-humor #life #death

Once upon a time she had liked to dance. When she had been about the same age as the little brunette out there who kept lifting her dress up over her head. Now that was living. Just lift your dress if you wanted to get down and don't worry what anyone thought. ↗

— Erin McCarthy

#dance #humor #inspirational #living #age

What if nobody showed up at Armageddon? ↗

— C.R. Strahan

#humor #inspiration #philosophy #humor

Your kids pissing you off is an inborn instinct. It's nature's way of getting you to kick them out when they turn 18! Okaaay. ~sigh~ Due to the times, you can kick them out between the ages of 28-38. Can someone please dramatically reduce the cost of housing, already? ~SHEESH~ ↗

— Dakota Dawn

#humor #inspirational #life #truth #age

What kind of husband would I be if I bet against my own marriage?' I smiled. 'The stupid kind. Didn't you listen to your dad when he told you not to bet against me? ↗

— Jamie McGuire

#certainty #humor #husband #husband-and-wife #love

When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living. ↗

— Helen Rowland

#marriage #women #work #humor

We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #gentleman #humor #love #lovers