#humor

Fackelmann claimed to have started a Log just to keep track of Kite's attempted pickup lines -- surefire lines like e.g. 'You're the second most beautiful woman I've ever seen, the first most beautiful woman I've ever seem being former Bristish Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher,' and 'If you came home with me I'm unusually confident that I could achieve an erection,' and said that if Kite wasn't still cherry at twenty-three and a half it was proof of some kind of divine-type grace. ↗

— David Foster Wallace

#humor #pickup-lines #beauty

Obsession with sanitation is a concern for sanitariums. A sane consumer makes decisions based on beauty alone, no matter how bad it smells. ↗

— Bauvard

#cleanliness #funny #humor #sanity #smelling

You walk a fine line between beautifully macabre and uncharacteristically psychotic. ↗

— Solange nicole

#insanity #life #macabre #beauty

You are so beautiful, I could eat you,” he said. And it was true. Her smile was as intoxicating as the wine. And he could eat her. ↗

— Jonas Eriksson

#horror-romance #psychopath #thriller #beauty

He thinks himself rather an exceptional young man, thoroughly sophisticated, well adjusted to his environment, and somewhat more significant than any one else he knows. ↗

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

#humor #self-importance #significance #sophistication #beauty

When peacock spread her tail, she feels proud that everyone is talking her beauty but ,in reality she is being nude from back! Try to see things differently. ↗

— Thenten

#beauty

But an inferior talent can only be graceful when it's carrying inferior ideas. And the more narrowly you can look at a thing the more entertaining you can be about it. ↗

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

#humor #narrowness #perspective #beauty

A bookstore is one of the many pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking. ↗

— Jerry Seinfeld

#beautiful #bookstores #humor #so #beauty

Let's get a cup of coffee and maybe a blowjob in the bathroom. ↗

— Christina Lauren

#beauty

Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business. Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git. Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor. Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #james-potter #remus-lupin #sirius-black #snape