Jerry Seinfeld

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? ↗

— Jerry Seinfeld

#funny #funny

Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door. ↗

— Jerry Seinfeld

#humor #music #radio #shower #humor

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason ↗

— Jerry Seinfeld

#humor

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking. ↗

— Jerry Seinfeld

#evidence #only #people #pieces #still

Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge. ↗

— Jerry Seinfeld

#life

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. ↗

— Jerry Seinfeld

#fun #such #thing #whole

Elaine: Ugh, I hate people. Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst. ↗

— Jerry Seinfeld

#humor

It s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. ↗

— Jerry Seinfeld

#humor

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end. ↗

— Jerry Seinfeld

#color #concerned #end #final #final word

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything. ↗

— Jerry Seinfeld

#am #anything #busy #cuts #doing