#humor

Why is it that all cars are women?" he asked. "Because they're fussy and demanding," answered Zee. "Because if they were men, they'd sit around and complain instead of getting the job done," I told him. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#gender-stereotypes #humor #women #humor

I have dozens of loyal fans! Baker's dozens! …they come in thirteens. ↗

— Felicia Day

#humor #humor

That's kind of a leap, but the Russian judge gave you a nine point five for style, so okay. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#humor

What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf? ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#bbq #humor #signs #wolf #wolves

The last time I wore an animal hide; but this time I settled for this." Eric had been wearing a long trench coat. Now he threw it off dramatically, and I could only stand and stare. Normally, Eric was a blue-jeans-and-T-shirt kind of guy. Tonight, he wore a pink tank top and Lycra leggings[...]They were pink and aqua, like the swirls down the side of Jason's truck. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#humor #romance #sookie-stackhouse #true-blood #humor

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone. ↗

— Reba McEntire

#life #success #humor

There's a name for people with an interest in the moon," Alex said. "They're called lunatics. ↗

— Anthony Horowitz

#humor

I was talking aloud to myself. A habit of the old: they choose the wisest person present to speak to ↗

— J.R.R. Tolkien

#humor

Blood is really warm, it's like drinking hot chocolate but with more screaming. ↗

— Ryan Mecum

#haiku #horror #humor #zombies #humor

A brick could be used to determine whether you are really in love or not. But you’re never going to be able to tell for sure if you try to run the experiment with the brick upside down. Keep flipping the brick over until the desired outcome is reached, and then you’ll know for certain the test is valid.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny