#humor

We pass Tinsley's Fried Chicken with the big sign that reads, TRY OUR BIG, JUICY BREASTS. ↗

— Donna Cooner

#fried-chicken #humor #food

You want a friend in this city? [Washington, DC.] Get a dog! ↗

— Harry S. Truman

#dogs #egotism #faithfulness #friends #friendship

The common man prays, 'I want a cookie right now!' And God responds, 'If you'd listen to what I say, tomorrow it will bring you 100 cookies. ↗

— Criss Jami

#cookie #cute #faithfulness #funny #god

Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humor

If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus. ↗

— Chuck Klosterman

#lightning #humor

I came to the table, pulled up a chair, and sat. “Everyone brought a pet. I feel left out.” An enthusiastic howl broke the silence, and Grendel bounded through the doorway. He galloped through the steak house, skidded on the floor, smashed into my chair, and dropped a dead rat on my lap. Awesome. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor

A lot of men tend to want "models" I tell men, unless they look like a model themselves, they can't expect to land one. ↗

— Trisha Ventker

#humor-inspirational #memoir #self-help #dating

The fickleness of the women I love is only equaled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. ↗

— George Bernard Shaw

#love #equality

The fundamentalists were equally stymied. “We were worried about Adam and Steve,” a Baptist minister said. “Should we have been more worried about Rover and Fluffy? ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#shifters #equality

He did not believe in having a sock drawer or a T-shirt drawer. He believed that all drawers were created equal and filled each with whatever fit. My mother would have died. ↗

— John Green

#equality