#humor

When I was in second grade, my teacher, Miss Maxwell, read from The Harmony Herald that one in every four children lived in China. I remember looking over the room, guessing which children they might be. I wasn't sure where China was, but suspected it was on bus route three. I recall being grateful I didn't live in China because I didn't care for Chinese food and couldn't speak the language. ↗

— Philip Gulley

#food

Daddy, how come in Kansas City the bagels taste like just round bread? ↗

— Calvin Trillin

#humor #trillin #food

To me, chocolate was the sole reason we on this earth. ↗

— Esi Edugyan

#food #humor #food

When she offered me a spot of tea, I said, “No thanks, I’ve already got a spot of tea on my shirt.”  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #hospitality #humor #random #random-thought

Never underestimate the power of cookies. ↗

— Marisa Baggett

#humor #food

The poor spend all their free time drinking. It helps cope with the terrible drudgery of obtaining food stamps. An ethic of alcoholism prevails among the upper class too, but they use leisure to deal with it. ↗

— Bauvard

#drinking #food-stamps #funny #humor #leisure

Is there a gun that shoots rain? Oh yeah, water guns. How technologically advanced we are!  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#civilization #civilized #culture #funny #gun

If I were a professor, I’d bring my cat to class. I’d be silent until it meowed, and as soon as it did, I’d stand up and say, “Lecture’s over.”  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cats #college #funny #humor #lecture

It took me a while to realize that I was beginning to flirt with her. The food must have been poisoned. ↗

— Justin Villanueva

#lovers-quarrels #food

Vegtables, what food eats before it becomes food. ↗