#humor

I am no king, and I am no lord, And I am no soldier at-arms," said he. "I'm none but a harper, and a very poor harper, That am come hither to wed with ye." "If you were a lord, you should be my lord, And the same if you were a thief," said she. "And if you are a harper, you shall be my harper, For it makes no matter to me, to me, For it makes no matter to me." "But what if it prove that I am no harper? That I lied for your love most monstrously?" "Why, then I'll teach you to play and sing, For I dearly love a good harp," said she. ↗

— Peter S. Beagle

#humor #inspirational #love #lyrics #poe

Everything stinks till it’s finished. ↗

— Dr. Seuss

#inspirational #humor

You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#inspirational #humor

To love is easy, to be in a relationship is extremely difficult. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#inspirational #love #truth #humor

If you try to look up my skirt, I'll poke needles in your eyes right through your eyelids while you're asleep.' 'I'm looking for help, you give me nightmares, thank you so much.' She was on the top step now, reaching up for a bin marked DRY BEANS. Rigg looked up her skirt, mostly because she told him not to, and saw nothing at all of interest. He could never understand why Nox and other women, too, were always so sure men wanted to see whatever it is they concealed under their clothes. ↗

— Orson Scott Card

#men

Mmmm I like the sounds you're making," he murmured in a honeyed whisper. "I just bet that you're a screamer. Should I have brought earplugs? Kurt Nielsen ↗

— Nikki Sex

#sex #sexy-humor #sexy-men #men

You do realize that if anything happens to you, my son will be devastated?” Ella’s throat closed. She really didn’t want to think about James, not when he was in so much danger. She nodded. “I know.” “Then make sure nothing happens to you. This Kingdom needs a Queen who can show these men we’re not all delicate little flowers. ↗

— Michelle Smart

#humor #men

Progress is heading in a forward direction and realizing what was behind is now your legacy! ↗

— KC Rhoads

#inspirational #philosophical-musings #inspirational

Each year, the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch that he thinks is the most sincere. He's gotta pick this one. He's got to. I don't see how a pumpkin patch can be more sincere than this one. You can look around and there's not a sign of hypocrisy. Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see. ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#inspirational

Barry L. Jacobs and colleagues from the neuroscience program at Princeton University showed that when mice ran every day on an exercise wheel, they developed more brain cells and they learned faster than sedentary controls. I believe in mice. ↗

— Bernd Heinrich

#inspirational #mice #science #inspirational