#humor

If a human female was going to defeat a male alpha werewolf, there was only so many thing she could do to accomplish that feat. All of them were batshit. ↗

— Heather Killough-Walden

#lily #humor

...now and then a giggling trail of mermaids appeared in our wake. We fed them oatmeal. ↗

— Tove Jansson

#mermaids #oatmeal #sailing #humor

Reality itself is too twisted. ↗

— Hunter S. Thompson

#humor

Il est plus facile de désintégrer un atome qu'un préjugé ↗

— Albert Einstein

#humor

The practice of thrift is not outdated. We must discipline ourselves to live within our incomes even if it means going without or making do. The wise person can distinguish...between basic needs and extravagant wants. Some find budgeting extremely painful, but I promise you, it is never fatal. ↗

— Marvin J. Ashton

#helpful #humor #humor

Magdalena pulls me away by the arm. “I am the stronger one of Titus and I,” she says over the marketplace din. “Woman are always the stronger sex.” She smiles to herself. “The trick is not appearing to be so. ↗

— Lynn Cullen

#lynn-cullen #sex #women #humor

No...I...I had this spicy Mexican food last night. It's only a bad case of heartburn. I don't need an exorcism. i need some Pepto-Bismo! ↗

— Michelle Rowen

#food

I live for a woman who scratches, just make sure to keep it on the back, baby, I dont like scars." ~Otto Carvalletti ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#humor

At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on there clothes to keep them from being stolen. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor #humor

Sex drives the world and sex in on every human mind, be it a prophet or be it a saint, history has full of evidences. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#sex #humor