#humor

Zane looked down at him and yanked away the pillow and then all the covers. "Ty, I mean it. Do not go to sleep," he said firmly. "Nap nazi," Ty accused miserably. ↗

— Abigail Roux

#humor

Wisdom is one of the few things that looks bigger the further away it is. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#wisdom #witches #humor

It’s ironic that as scientists that don’t believe in god, were the ones that are closest to god. ↗

— Hiromu Arakawa

#humor #humor

You're judging her by her literacy," Tara says. "You're a literacist." "You've made that up. ↗

— Melina Marchetta

#humor

Watch out. Bras are often booby-trapped. ↗

— Tiffany Reisz

#humor #humor

She can't afford to commit more troops,' Holly whispered. 'The gate is her priority, and she needs to have as many Berserkers watching her back as possible. We are secondary at this point.' 'That will be her undoing,' Artemis gasped, already suffering under the weight of the flak jacket. 'Artemis Fowl will never be secondary.' 'I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?' said Holly. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#captain-short #eight #eoin-colfer #holly-short #humor

You can't fix stupid! ↗

— Ron White

#humor

Jesus. He could see the headlines now. Aliens Among Us. Run! ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#humor

[Stephanie] That's not the point. I can't just let monkeys loose in Trenton. [Lula] Why not? There's all kinds of crazy shit loose in Trenton. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#new-jersey #humor

You probably love to tell kids to get off your lawn, too. ↗