#humor

Do not do that again," he said stiffly. "Don't kiss me back then," I retorted. He stared at me for what seemed like forever. "I don't give 'Zen lessons' to hear myself talk. I don't give them because you're another student. I'm doing this to teach you control." "You're doing a great job," I said bitterly. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor #zen-lessons #humor

Do you think it's possible for an entire nation to be insane? ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#insanity #religion #war #humor

I don't put up with being messed around, and I don't suffer fools gladly. The short version of that is that I'm a bitch. Trust me, I can provide character references. ↗

— Robin McKinley

#humor

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages. ↗

— Mark Twain

#savages #humor

Mario, what do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic?" "I give." "You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there's a dog. ↗

— David Foster Wallace

#dogs #dyslexia #god #humor #insomnia

Grown ups are complicated creatures, full of quirks and secrets. ↗

— Roald Dahl

#children #humor #humor

Don't go looking for boys in the dark They will say pretty things then leave you with scars. Do go looking for boys in the park For that is where the true gentlemen are. ↗

— Anna Godbersen

#gentlemen #humor #love #wisdom #humor

Dad" I pleaded, "this is so [cuss word you never, ever say in front of your mother] ridiculous. ↗

— Jennifer Echols

#humor #jennifer-echols #romance #summer #humor

He'll get tired of chasing someone who doesn't chase back! ↗

— Billy Ray Cyrus

#humor

Alice wonders if other women in the middle of the night have begun to resent their Formica. ↗

— Barbara Kingsolver

#humor