#humor

At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on there clothes to keep them from being stolen. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor #humor

Sex drives the world and sex in on every human mind, be it a prophet or be it a saint, history has full of evidences. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#sex #humor

The first thing you find out when yer dog learns to talk is that dogs don't got nothing much to say. About anything. "Need a poo, Todd." "Shut up, Manchee." "Poo. Poo, Todd." "I said shut it. ↗

— Patrick Ness

#knife-of-never-letting-go #manchee #todd #humor

También quería que te entonara una cancioncilla, como si fuera un mensajero cantarín. —Me mira por encima del hombro, insinuando una sonrisa—. La mandé a freír espárragos. -Tucker ↗

— Cynthia Hand

#humor

[...] And those women with the camera looked loose." Excellent, Phin thought. At last, some good news. ↗

— Jennifer Crusie

#humor

I heard this story once," she said, "where this bloke got locked up for years and years and he learned amazin' stuff about the universe and everythin' from another prisoner who was incredibly clever, and then he escaped and got his revenge." "What incredibly clever stuff do you know about the universe, Gytha Ogg?" said Granny. "Bugger all," said Granny cheerfully. "Then we'd better bloody well escape right now. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#learning #prison #humor

These arent your mother's zombies! ↗

— Joe McKinney

#humor

Hegel says that Truth is a great word and the thing is greater still. With Dave we never seemed to get past the word. ↗

— Iris Murdoch

#humor

Any fool can write a book and most of them are doing it; but it takes brains to build a house. ↗

— Charles F. Lummis

#humor #writing #humor

I knew it! I knew it! Well, not "knew it" in the sense of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn't know. ↗