#humor

Nev tossed his pen down. “Fine. Here goes: Ren and Cals lives may be torrid for the young ones in Vail are quite horrid Bine and Cos aren’t too frail Dax and Fey never pale while Ansel and Bryn might get sordid Bryn spit Diet Coke all over the table. Mason and Ansel clapped. I was too dumbfounded to react. This is qhat quiet Nev does in his spare time? “‘Bine’?” Sabine frowned while Cosette mopped up the soda that flowed to their end of the table. “Since when am I ‘Bine’? And we never call Cosette ‘Cos.’” “It’s about cadence,” Nev said. “Sorry. I said it wasn’t very good.” “Why aren’t you and Mason in it?” Ansel asked. “Oh, he has another one about us.” Mason wiggled his eyebrows. ↗

— Andrea Cremer

#ansel-tor #bane-pack #calla-tor #humor #limericks

Because I trust in the ever-changing climate of the heart. (At least, today I feel that way.) I think it is necessary to have many experiences for the sake of feeling something; for the sake of being challenged, and for the sake of being expressive, to offer something to someone else, to learn what we are capable of. ↗

— Jason Mraz

#expression #feelings #humor #inspirational #learning

Please, Percy...change your clothes. You smell like you've been run over by an electric horse. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#heroes-of-olympus #horses #humor #hygiene #percy-jackson

There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi. ↗

— George Carlin

#names #trends #dreams

... in spite of being happier than I ever dreamed I could be, I'm also soberer. The fear that something may happen to you rests like a shadow on my heart. Always before I could be frivolous and carefree and unconcerned, because I had nothing precious to lose. But now -- I shall have a Great Big Worry all the rest of my life. Whenever you are away from me I shall be thinking of all the automobiles that can run over you, or the signboards that can fall on your head or the dreadful, squirmy germs that you may be swallowing. ↗

— Jean Webster

#romance #dreams

Rotten people will taste rotten ice cream. ↗

— Sarah Chow

#human-nature #humor #food

Love is as we will it to be." ~ Amunhotep El Bey ↗

— Amunhotep El Bey

#funny #humorous-quotations #inspirational-quotations #lol #motivational-quotations

I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone. ↗

— Tommy Cooper

#dreams

In my book an erection constitutes personal growth. ↗

— Amunhotep El Bey

#fun #funny #funny-quotations #humor #humorous-quotations

It's my experience that you first feel the impulse to write in your chest. It's like falling in love, only more so. It feels like something criminal. It feels like unspeakably wild sex. So, think: When you feel the overpowering need to go out and find some unspeakably wild sex, do you rush to tell your mom about it? ↗

— Carolyn See

#writing #experience