#humor

I wanted to tell her “I love you” back, but I guess in waiting for the perfect moment (the next commercial break), I ended up completely forgetting. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #insensitive #love #age

You'd be surprised how many people in the modern age no longer fear zombies as much as teletubies. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#age

Just remember, when you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed. ↗

— Charles M. Schulz

#humor #age

I am the broth of love. Make soup to me. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #age

I make love like I make lasagna: with extra meat. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #lasagna #love #age

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor #age

As you get older; you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and you'll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember his or her name. This can be very embarassing, especially if he or she turns out to be your spouse. ↗

— Dave Barry

#humor #marriage #age

Love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me double check. Yep, love is a feeling. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#feeling #funny #humor #love #age

Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#amazement #amazing #commas #editing #funny

Thirty--the promise of a decade of loneliness, a thinning list of single men to know, a thinning brief-case of enthusiasm, thinning hair. ↗

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

#humor #age