#humor

I'm sorry? No more smooches is worse than the world ending? ↗

— Derek Landy

#humor #skulduggery-pleasant #valkyrie-cain #death

Humor is almost always anger with its make-up on. ↗

— Stephen King

#humor #anger

...I think we should find some kind of shelter; a cave or something." "I don't want to do that! What if there's like, a creature living in the cave?" Tiara said. "Seriously, I saw this show once where these people were stranded on an island and there were these other people who were sort of crazy-slash-bad and there was this polar bear creature running around." "What happened?" Miss Ohio asked. "I don't know. My parents got divorced in the middle of season two and we lost our TiVo. ↗

— Libba Bray

#lost #beauty

Good.” She seemed relieved, “They’re here.” She stood up and walked to the front of the parking lot just as four beautiful, tricked-out Choppers, all manned by women, pulled in and halted next to the girl. “Check it out.” Angelina elbowed her friends, “Lesbians. In Texas . ↗

— Shelly Laurenston

#beauty

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it. ↗

— Fred Allen

#about #anything #i #know

If a dog doesn't put you first where are you both? In what relation? A dog needs God. It lives by your glances, your wishes. It even shares your humor. This happens about the fifth year. If it doesn't happen you are only keeping an animal. ↗

— Enid Bagnold

#animal #both #dog #even #fifth

Newspaper people, once celebrated as founts of ribald humor and uncouth fun, have of late lost all their gaiety, and small wonder. ↗

— Russell Baker

#fun #gaiety #humor #late #lost

Music is like a drug, but there are no rehabilitation centres. ↗

— Morrissey

#morrissey #select- #humor

I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dog #dogs #funny #humor #love

The symphony orchestra had played poorly, so the conductor was in a bad mood. That night he beat his wife--because the music hadn't been beautiful enough. ↗

— George Carlin

#beauty