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#humor

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #humor




I want to have five or six wives, and a few dozen sheep, all for my pleasure. I should be a politician. ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#politician #politics #humor

Colin: "1 dinna understand why we canna just go to bed and have sex." He looked truly puzzled. ↗


— Nina Bangs


#men #sex #women #humor

She looked like she believed in something, or wanted to, and I hoped to hell it wasn’t God, not in the way The Dad believes, because all that does is make him forced and desperate. No, it was something else, not just that I saw a pretty girl and just got all excited. I mean, yeah, that part is true, and she really was gorgeous, and the freckles covering her, the freckles on top of freckles all spread out and folding into one another made her skin look like it had grain and texture, like polished wood, like it would feel smooth to the touch, and so soft. I knew that. But it wasn’t how she looked. ↗


— Brad Barkley


#heather-hepler #humor #love #humor

Men these days expect their wives to be as dazzling as their mistresses. ↗


— Helen Simonson


#humor

Serpentfire can burn for a very long time if the bagic is strong," said Aldric. "It's hard to handle, that kind of fire, it seems to have a mind of its own, but it can be a good tool if you have nothing else. You never, ever want to use it unless you need it. I keep it around in case of dire circumstances. I hate to admit that anything Serpentine can be useful." Absentmindedly he picked up a Dragon's claw from a pile of them on the tabe, and used it to stratch his neck. ↗


— Jason Hightman


#humor #humor

Intelligence is the capacity to know what we are doing and instinct is just instinct. The results are about the same. ↗


— Will Cuppy


#consciousness #humor #intelligence #humor

They say that God watches out for children, drunks and fools. Simply put, this means I stand a two-thirds better chance for divine intervention in my life than most other people. ↗


— Lenny Castellaneta


#humor

I would like to shove this stick up your whoo-hoo! ↗


— NII


#humor

Don't force it; get a bigger hammer. ↗


— Arthur Bloch


#humor

People tell me that Senator Edwards got picked for his good looks, his sex appeal, and his great hair. I say to them, 'How do you think I got the job? ↗


— Dick Cheney


#politics #humor






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