#humor

Mother said we had reached the Age of Reason and had to be good now. We must have because we wanted Willy Starr instead. ↗

— Marie Clair

#age

Being an author of a book is like being a mother of a debutante in the Middle Ages. You have to present your baby to society and provide her with dowry, and in your heart, you hope that some royalty spends a night with her and ensures her way to success. ↗

— Elvira Baryakina

#age

I am certain you are not one of those dreary fellows one reads of who demands that their lady friends be in possession of a maidenhead. Mine was taken by a marrow two years ago.” “A marrow, Miss Pertwee? The vegetable that the Italians call il zucchine?” “The very same.A most particularly bold and impetuous hot-house marrow. It was quite the ravishment, I can assure you.” “I consider it no dishonor at all to be preceded by so noble a vegetable. ↗

— Vinnie Tesla

#vegetables #virginity #age

She looks like a very young old person, or a very old young person; but then, she's looked that way ever since she was two. ↗

— Margaret Atwood

#humor #age

You could have heard a bee fluff ↗

— S.W. Lothian

#humorous #middle-age #age

By gad, is that you, Ainswood? I haven't seen you in a dog's age. How's the gout? Still troubling you? ↗

— Loretta Chase

#lydia #vere #age

And, whoa!" He turned to Mr.D. "Your the wine dude? No way!" Mr.D turned hi eyes away from me and gave Nico a look of loathing. "The wine dude?" "Dionysus, right? Oh, wow! I've got your figurine!" "My figurine." "In my game, Mythomagic. And holofoil card, too! And even though you've only got like five hundred attack points and everybody thinks your the lamest god card, I totally think your powers are sweet!" "Ah." Mr.D seemed truly perplexed, which probably saved my life. "Well, that's...gratifying. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#dionysus #humor #mythomagic #nico-diangelo #humor

You know what it's like, finding eight middle-aged guys having tantric sex with ostriches? ↗

— Warren Ellis

#middle-age #ostrich #tantric-sex #age

It must be quite a shock to suddenly find out you're pregnant, seventeen times over—at your age, too. ↗

— Lois McMaster Bujold

#pregnancy #age

I give off good vibes, kids, dogs, and middle-aged divorcées like me ↗

— Tiffanie DeBartolo

#age