#humor

The sight of her made him understand why he'd lost his faith in God. ↗

— Sarah Langan

#fiction #god #horror #human-cruelty #humor

Zoroastrianism? Oh, there’s never been but a few hundred thousand of them at any one time, mostly located in Iran and India, but that’s it. The one true faith. If you’re not a Zoroastrian, I’m afraid you are bound for Hell.” The man looked stunned and shocked. "It's not fair." The demon gave a mirthful laugh. “Well, it was fair when you were sending all the Chinese to Hell who had never heard of Jesus. Wasn’t it? ↗

— Steven L. Peck

#christianity #christians #hell #jesus #lds

In the middle of all beliefs you'll find a single lie. ↗

— Samuel L. Drew

#humor #life #faith

She described to us six lanes' worth of unadulterated fear, populated exclusively by motorists whose driving education had been paid for by the blood of pedestrians. ↗

— Jeff Deck

#houston #humor #change

Todos los esfuerzos--que no son pocos--hechos por el gobierno, en materia educativa, se diluyen en el mar de porquería de los medios de comunicación monopolizados por la iniciativa privada. ↗

— Rius

#humor #politics #education

Got it. You're fourteen. I'm proud you can count that high. It's a testament to the modern American education system. But I should probable point out that you're not the only one. I'm told you go to a school with a whole class of-get this-kids who are fourteen."- Ash ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#education

Hey there, Hallie, welcome to the next place we need a Deer Crossing sign.' I didn't know that deers could read.' They can in Cosgrove County. It's part of the No Deer Left Behind program. ↗

— Laura Pedersen

#humor #literacy #education

My profanity has a certain religious flavor that can only be learned through a lifetime of Catholic education. ↗

— Emma Chase

#education

I remember the very day, sometime during the first two weeks of my five-year amorous sojourn in Brutland, when I was made privy to one of the most arcane of their utterings. The time was ripe for that major epiphany, my initiation into the sacred knowledge—or should I say gnosis?—of that all-important, quintessentially Brutish slang term, the word that endless hours of scholastic education by renowned mentors, plus years of scrupulous scrutiny into scrofulous texts, had disappointingly failed to impart to me, leaving me with that deep sense of emptiness begotten by hemimathy; the time was finally ripe for me to be transported by the velvety feel of the unvoiced palato-alveolar fricative, the élan of the unpronounceable and masochistically hedonistic front open-rounded vowel, and, last but not least, the (admittedly short) ejaculatory quality of the voiced velar stop: all three of them combined together to form that miraculous lexical item, the word shag. ↗

— Spiros Doikas

#britain #british #english #humor #sex

You may need help or information from some nongovernmental organization, and the local person heading that NGO may be some West Coast, liberal-educated, no-leg-shaving, Birkenstock-wearing female uniform-hater. And you gotta deal with her. ↗

— Dick Couch

#education