#humor

Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it. ↗

— Amy Sedaris

#pets #humor

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad, For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#irish #song #war #humor

I just can't fathom why anyone would stand on a ledge when there's a respectable amount of walking space right next to it. ↗

— Stephanie Perkins

#humor

People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left. ↗

— Bill Hicks

#politics #humor

A brick could be used for note delivery, from the KKK. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #delivery #funny

You can sit on a brick, and milk a cow with a blanket. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#bizarre #brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses

A blanket could be used as a lovely rug, a rug that just so happens to be covering a large hole, you should really feel this rug! ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Henry Denton: You Brits really don't have a sense of humor do you? Elsie: We do if something's funny, sir. ↗

— Julian Fellowes

#humor #funny

I'm English. We're about as tactful as a hot poker up the bum, most of the time. ↗

— L.H. Thomson

#funny #giggles #humor #funny

Okay, but would you say between us we have the combined IQ of at least a garden slug? ↗

— Norah Wilson

#humor #slugs #funny