#humor

You kids today don’t understand. You go into the stalls, and you sit on the toilets, and you read your comic books. But you never think about the brave cleaning supplies that gave their lives so you could have a safe place to do your business. ↗

— Beth Labonte

#business

I love children. Eating them, that is. ↗

— Keith McGowan

#cuisine #eating #folktales #humor #love

Okay. Look, why don't you take care of the half a million things you've been letting dangle in Roarke's Empire of Everything?" "Catchy title. I may use it one day. ↗

— J.D. Robb

#humor #roarke #death

I appreciate all the trouble you went to in order to ensure my survival.” “Purely selfish, I assure you.” “Because you need me to oversee your household?” “Because I need you to marry. Men tend to frown at the notion of marrying someone who isn’t breathing. ↗

— Lorraine Heath

#men

Hey, I am thinking of it myself, in this part of world (East), we all do endeavors in praying and are sweating (white liquid) and this is our situation, frustrated , but on the other part of world (West) ,they are enjoying in party and drinking liquor (white liquid) but their situation is that, successful, I do not know that the problem relates to the type of liquid or the way of drinking!! ↗

— Ali Shariati

#faith #funny #humor #life #love

We worked like dogs, we ate like hogs, and we slept like logs. ↗

— Terry W. Sprouse

#business

The man who wears the bunny suit is greater than the man who wears the business suit. ↗

— Wattpad Author

#business

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book. ↗

— Marcus Tullius Cicero

#humor #times-never-change #change

There you are!” he shouted at them. “Father has half the castle turned out looking for you.” “Us?” Hadrian asked. “Yes.” Fanen nodded. “He wants to see the two thieves in his chambers right away.” “You didn’t steal the silver or anything, did you, Royce?” Hadrian asked. “I would bet it has more to do with your flirting with Lenare this afternoon and threatening Mauvin just to show off,” Royce retorted. “That was your fault,” Hadrian said, jabbing his finger at him. ↗

— Michael J. Sullivan

#humor

He had had a severe shock some weeks earlier, when, having narrowly failed to capture a large grey-brown hare for his dinner, it had stopped at the edge of the forest, looked at him with disdain, and said, 'Well, I hope you're proud of yourself, that's all,' and had scampered off into the long grass ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#quotes #humor