#humor

Now, I have nothing against the public school system as it is presently organized, once you allow the humor of its basic assumption about how it is possible to teach things to children.... ↗

— Shirley Jackson

#humor #school #education

Agatha Christie n. A silent, putrid fart committed by someone in this very room, and only one person knows whodunnit. ↗

— VIZ

#dictionary #humor #swearing #humor

Oscar Wilde: "I wish I had said that." Whistler: "You will, Oscar; you will. ↗

— James Mcneill Whistler

#oscar-wilde #riposte #humor

Brannicks and magic and hell, oh my,” ~ Sophie ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#humor

In Anger Management,' he said,'we had to do all this role-playing stuff. You know, to get used to handling things in a less volatile way.' 'You role-played,' I said, trying to picture this. 'I had to. It was court-ordered. ↗

— Sarah Dessen

#humor #just-listen #owen #role-playing #sarah-dessen

Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live, and devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad. ↗

— Neal Stephenson

#art

To call yourself an author takes publishing one book. To call yourself an inspirational author is the work of a lifetime that requires being constantly kicked in the stomach only to get back up on your feet and show the world how you survived it each time. ↗

— Shannon L. Alder

#life-experiences #life-missions #writers #writing #experience

It is a curiously moving experience, to hear 350 sailors uttering the words "Oh shit!" in eleven different languages. ↗

— John Biggins

#humour #experience

Her bouts of bitchiness were really starting to grow on him, which just proved how in over his head he was. ↗

— Katee Robert

#humor

The canvas isn’t empty. It’s full of whatever you imagine it to be full of. My art is so conceptual that not only do I not tell, but I don’t even show. All I do is sign the canvas and try to sell it. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#canvas #conceptual-art #empty #funny #humor