#humor

Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #love #surrealism #age

Art shows, it doesn’t tell. That’s why for show and tell, I mimed the panels of the Sistine ceiling. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #art

if you think there is something wrong with the world, you should stop: it's just you. ↗

— rolandas kausas

#inspirational #inspirational

A tip for increased sales or in situations of life or death: Try to always refer to the lady as Miss. or Ms. Using the term: Ma'am could piss her off. ↗

— Ginnetta Correli

#death #humor #lady #life #woman

About the time he threatened her nose with his finger, Peaseblossom lost her grip on the situation with the boys. The door crashed open, and three irate fairies launched themselves at the Stage Manager. Cobweb and Moth pelted him with sequins while Mustardseed rammed beads into his ears. "Dance!" they commanded, and dance he did, hopping with impotent anger and pain from one foot to the other as he batted his meaty hands at them. ↗

— Lisa Mantchev

#fairies #humor #anger

You know, maybe we don't need enemies." "Yeah, best friends aree about all I can take. ↗

— Bill Watterson

#enemies-and-friends #friends #friendship #humor #friendship

When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard. ↗

— David Sedaris

#hard #humor #i #i think #look

I would have stolen it for you, had I known you were interested." His voice was muffled by the door to the lumber room down the hallway, and I heard thumps and a crash. I raised my voice a trifle more than mere volume required. "I'm interested because she was. Both of them, come to that--Damian's art is infused with mystic symbols and traditions." Holmes' voice answered two inches away from my ear, making me jerk and spray a handful of maps across the floor. "Religion can be a dangerous thing, it is true," he remarked darkly, and went out again. ↗

— Laurie R. King

#mary-russell #religion #sherlock-holmes #art

Sono così intelligente che a volte non capisco una sola parola di quel che sto dicendo. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#intelligence #sarcasm-humor #intelligence

Since I enjoy intelligent conversation, I generally want an IQ that's larger than the bra size.” “So, if I’m a drooling idiot, you’ll leave me alone? ↗

— Ann Bruce

#intelligence