#humor

While Maddox now believed the demon did not want to hurt Ashlyn, he wasn't willing to take a chance. He would talk about flowers and moonbeams - he cringed - if it meant maintaining this delectable inner peace. "Is there a way to break your death-curse?" Ashlyn asked. So much for flowers and moon-beams. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#humor #lords-of-the-underworld #romance #death

Nobody's death is impending." ..."Well technically everyone's death is impending. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#humor #death

Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens. ↗

— Woody Allen

#fun #funny #humor #death

Still, waking up this early was just wrong. “Why can’t people be reasonable and only die after eleven A.M.?” I whined. ↗

— Diana Rowland

#death

The butcher died, and he requested to be cremated. But I don’t want to burn him, because I like my meat medium rare.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cannibalism #cook #cooking #cremated #death

The most I can hope for is to die in a pose that confuses future archaeologists. ↗

— Yahtzee Croshaw

#black-humor #comedy #death #death

Die, die we all pass away, But don't wear a frown coz it's really okay, And you might try to hide, And you might try to pray, But we all end up remains of the day. ↗

— Danny Elfman - The Corpse Bride

#humor #life #pray #death

Look, I know this is the last thing you want to talk about, but I wanted to ask you . . . .” He trailed off, looking strangely uneasy. “Ask me . . . ?” Ask me to dinner? Ask me out for drinks? Ask me if I wanted to see what he looked like under that uniform? Yow, where’d that last one come from? ↗

— Diana Rowland

#death

I was white. Chalk had more color than I did. And quite possibly more personality. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#death

Okay." Nate took a deep breath. "Now that we're all caught up on the new no-no's of the house, what do you say we find a tarp and some duct tape and MacGyver ourselves a new window in the living room? Just, you know, to keep out the wind ... and the leaves ... and any sharp-toothed woodland creatures prone to attacking people in their sleep." Tristan raised a brow. "What?" Nate shrugged. "Death by dragon? Awesome. Death by rabid forest squirrel? Not cool, man. Not cool." "You're immortal, Nate," Gabriel said. "So? That doesn't mean I want rabies." Nate shook his head. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have medieval aliens to defeat. ↗

— Chelsea Fine

#death