#humor

The last time I wore an animal hide; but this time I settled for this." Eric had been wearing a long trench coat. Now he threw it off dramatically, and I could only stand and stare. Normally, Eric was a blue-jeans-and-T-shirt kind of guy. Tonight, he wore a pink tank top and Lycra leggings[...]They were pink and aqua, like the swirls down the side of Jason's truck. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#humor #romance #sookie-stackhouse #true-blood #humor

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone. ↗

— Reba McEntire

#life #success #humor

There's a name for people with an interest in the moon," Alex said. "They're called lunatics. ↗

— Anthony Horowitz

#humor

I was talking aloud to myself. A habit of the old: they choose the wisest person present to speak to ↗

— J.R.R. Tolkien

#humor

Blood is really warm, it's like drinking hot chocolate but with more screaming. ↗

— Ryan Mecum

#haiku #horror #humor #zombies #humor

A brick could be used to determine whether you are really in love or not. But you’re never going to be able to tell for sure if you try to run the experiment with the brick upside down. Keep flipping the brick over until the desired outcome is reached, and then you’ll know for certain the test is valid.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

In high school I got voted most likely to get voted for something. Even though I was the only one who voted, it still felt terrific being nominated. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#high-school #humor #funny

And pictures of perfection, as you know, make me sick and wicked. ↗

— Jane Austen

#commentary #humor #snark #humor

Claire was struggling through last summer’s diary volume when Myrnin popped in through the portal, wearing a big floppy black hat and a kind of crazy/stylish pimp coat that covered him from neck to ankles, black leather gloves, and a black and silver walking stick with a dragon’s head on it. And, on his lapel was a button that said, If you can read this, thank a teacher. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#myrnin #humor

Closed. Plenty of time to see it later, remember?" He leads me into the courtyard, and I take the opportunity to admire his backside. Callipygian. There is something better than Notre-Dame. ↗

— Stephanie Perkins

#romance #humor