#humor

The Lush hadn’t driven in almost a decade - ever since she got in an accident that shook her so badly she refused to get behind the wheel. As you can imagine, someone nicknamed The Lush wouldn’t make a good DD anyway. I’d known her about a year before ever seeing her sober. ↗

— Kate Madison

#humor #memoir #the-lush #design

I’m doing boy detox. Like a diet, only for my emotional health. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#humor #love #diet

During World War II, when combat rations were tinned, meat hashes were a common entrée because they worked well with the filling machines. “But the men wanted something they could chew, something into which they could ‘sink their teeth,’” wrote food scientist Samuel Lepkovsky in a 1964 paper making the case against a liquid diet for the Gemini astronauts. He summed up the soldiers’ take on potted meat: “We could undoubtedly survive on these rations a lot longer than we’d care to live.” (NASA went ahead and tested an all-milkshake meal plan on groups of college students living in a simulated space capsule at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in 1964. A significant portion of it ended up beneath the floorboards.) ↗

— Mary Roach

#humor #science #diet

Don't do it. Please. I know this book looks delicious with its light-weight pages sliced thin a prosciutto and swiss stacked in a way that would make Dagwood salivate. The scent of freshly baked words wafting up with every turn of the page. Mmmm page. But don't do it. Not yet. Don't eat this book. ↗

— Morgan Spurlock

#healthy-diet #humor #diet

A brick could be used to help you maintain a balanced diet, by keeping your head perfectly still with the brick steady on your skull while you eat.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Mereka yang sekalipun belum pernah naik vespa adalah penyia-nyia hidup ↗

— ifdal sukri

#relationship

You can hear my dreams? God, you must never get any quiet. I'd be shooting myself in the head if I were you. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#vampire #dreams

If humor and rumor are needed more than faith and truth, then it tells me something about the kind of world we live today. ↗

— Toba Beta

#humor #kind #life #live #rumor

This phone," he says finally. "I want this phone." She laughs. "No. S'mine." Janie, I don't think you understand. I want it." Sorry." It's got photo caller ID; Internet; video, camera, and digital recorder?! Holy Hannah... It's making me warm all over." Oh yeah?" Janie says in a sexy voice. "Wanna play with my phone, baby?" Hell yes, I do. ↗

— Lisa McMann

#dreams

Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt) ↗

— Darynda Jones

#humor