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#humor

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #humor




I don’t think that taking off my eye patch would increase my night vision by 100%, but it would go a long way towards relieving my wedgie. ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#funny #humor #night-vision #wedgie #funny

The trouble with aggressive nonsmokers is that they feel they are doing you a favor by not allowing you to smoke. They seem to think that one day you'll look back and thank them for those precious fifteen seconds they just added to your life. What they don't understand is that those are just fifteen more seconds you can spend hating their guts and plotting revenge. ↗


— David Sedaris


#humor #joke #vindictive #funny

I’m faster than the rest of you, if .. Because I’m a vampire,” Michael said, and it was some kind of breakthrough for him to say that. “If you get in trouble, I’ll be there.” “Nice,” Shane said. “I’m warming up to this bloodsucking thing, Mikey.” “No, you’re not.” “Okay, no, I’m not, but right now let’s pretend I am. ↗


— Rachel Caine


#eve-rosser #funny #ghost-town #humor #michael-glass

I met Elton John at an Interview dinner, and we just sort of became friends. He's got such a wicked sense of humor. ↗


— Moby


#dinner #elton #elton john #friends #got

Tony and I had a good on and off screen relationship, we are two very different people, but we did share a sense of humor, we now live in different parts of the world but when we find ourselves in the same place it is more or less as if there had been no years in between. ↗


— Roger Moore


#between #did #different #different parts #different people

The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies. ↗


— William Temple


#forth #friends #glass #good #humor

Bad humor is an evasion of reality; good humor is an acceptance of it. ↗


— Malcolm Muggeridge


#bad #evasion #good #humor #reality

Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude. ↗


— Frank Muir


#grin #humor #inflicting #jokes #masculine

The show doesn’t go on because it’s ready; it goes on because it’s 11:30. ↗


— Lorne Michaels


#humor #management #snl #tina-fey #funny

If my last name were Bedient, I’d want to Irishize it and have you call me O’Bedient. Of course, just because you call me, doesn’t mean I’ll come. ↗


— Jarod Kintz


#humor #irish #obedience #funny






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