#humorous

Look at your eyes. You've got bigger bags than Louis Vuitton. ↗

— Matt Dunn

#humorous #louis-vuitton #funny

Listen. Just because we got a mutual hankering, doesn't mean we have to act on it. Aside from the hankering, there isn't much about you that I like. So far, you've been a pain in the behind. And I might as well tell you, I've followed through on one hankering and getting shot was more of an enjoyable experience. I didn't like it. ↗

— Maggie Osborne

#humorous #romance #experience

The better organized the state, the duller its humanity. ↗

— David Mitchell

#philosophy #humor

I know that not all my readers like my digressions, but the research that has been done on Caenorhabditis elegans is such a ringing triumph of science that you aren't going to stop me. ↗

— Richard Dawkins

#science #science

She looked like a head-on collision between a fashion plate and a nightmare. ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#humor

Note to self-give serious thought to becoming an alcoholic. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#humor

I jerk around and see Sister Dora, a portly woman who's the head cook in the kitchen, staring daggers at me. This is nothing new. She stares daggers at everyone who walks through the lunch line holding a tray, as though our needing sustenance is a personal affront. ↗

— Pittacus Lore

#humor

You've got better boobs," i acknowledged. And just as we'd done each time we'd had this boobs-versus-legs conversation, we looked down at our chests. Ogled. Compared. ↗

— Chloe Neill

#humor

If you had a piece of coal, we could hold her down, shove it up her ass, and come collect a big, fat diamond in a few days. ↗

— M. Leighton

#humor

I mean you ACRES of harm,' Dalrymple growled. 'Untold QUANTITIES of harm. I will visit a whole CONTINENT of harm upon you before we are through. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humorous #threats #what-the-hell #humor