#humour

[startling Giles by walking in on him singing] (Spike) You know, for someone who's got "Watcher" on his résumé, you might wanna cast an eye to the front door every now and again. ↗

— Doug Petrie

#humour #irony #snark #irony

It's hard to maintain a reputation for being grim and mysterious when you're accompanied by a brightly clad young thing, skipping merrily along at your side, holding your hand, and smiling sweetly on one and all. ↗

— Simon R. Green

#irony #irony

I have always been homosexual and it surprises me that more people are not; women's pink bits are moist and forbidding and I enjoy those qualities much more in a Victoria sponge. ↗

— Robert Clark

#humour #women #homosexuality

I'm too old to know everything ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#humour #youthful-arrogance #arrogance

Are you kidding? He's arrogant, sarcastic, likes to intimidate people, and—oh." Okay. Maybe she had a point. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#arrogance

Cal: “Could you write a little bigger? I’m not sure China saw that.” Every Boy's Got One ↗

— Meg Cabot

#cute

Greg starts a middle school and asks: Why is "bullies" such a big PROBLEM? And says people need to shave twice a day. ↗

— Jeff Kinney

#bullying

I didn't set fire to the building." "No, but you did pull it into the river." "That put the fire out! ↗

— Anthony Horowitz

#alex

The platform underneath the balloon fell on her as she was trying to escape," she explained. "She was crushed." "I'd have been disappointed too. ↗

— Anthony Horowitz

#sarcasm #alex

I thought you were a drunk." "A drunk?" "Bloodshot eyes, dirty clothes, getting home in the wee hours of the morning, making a lot of noise, grouchy all the time as if you had a hangover… what else was I to think?" He rubbed his face. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking. I should have showered, shaved, and dressed in a suit before I came out to tell you that you were making enough noise to raise the dead. ↗

— Linda Howard

#sarcasm #sarcasm