#humour

Once, I asked my mom why stars shine. She said they were night-lights, so the angels could find their way around in Heaven. But when I asked my dad, he started talking about gas, and somehow I put it all together and figured that the food God served caused multiple trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night. ↗

— Jodi Picoult

#food

I always thought eating was a ridiculous activity anyway. I'd get out of it myself if I could, though you've got to do it to stay alive, they tell me. ↗

— Margaret Atwood

#humour #food

The trouble with eating Italian is that 5 or 6 days later, you're hungry again. ↗

— George Miller

#food #humourous #food

Let's chow, and then we'll get our books," Tony said. Just as the door was about to close behind us, he added, "You act like you've never had food before. ↗

— Rebecca Maizel

#food

If you still persist in writing, "Good food at it's best", you deserve to be struck by lightning, hacked up on the spot and buried in an unmarked grave. ↗

— Lynne Truss

#humour #food

Free your mind from routine, keep your brain somewhere else ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#humor #humour #philosophy #wisdom #freedom

There! Now we're friends!" declared the minx. "Say you're sorry about my sister -" "I am desolated!" "That's a good boy! ↗

— Agatha Christie

#haha #humour #obedience #friendship

Sometimes he was weird, sometimes he was Captain Douchebag, but he was always my best friend. ↗

— Sharon Sant

#friendship #humour #friendship

It's a very small object to be capable of doing many wonderful things, don't you think?" "It does much more that that," Valkyrie said, opening up a game and showing it to him. His eyes widened. "What wonder is this?" "It's called Angry Birds. Now do you believe me? ↗

— Derek Landy

#angry-birds #birds #funny #humour #valkyrie

What?" she asked again. He pointed ahead of them. "See that?" "What, the snow?" "Beyond that." "More snow?" "Stop looking at the snow. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humour #snow #yeti #funny