#humour

Stop smiling. Every time you smile, an angel dies. ↗

— Kristan Higgins

#humour #smiling #humor

As women glide from their twenties to thirties, Shazzer argues, the balance of power subtly shifts. Even the most outrageous minxes lose their nerve, wrestling with the first twinges of existential angst: fears of dying alone and being found three weeks later half-eaten by an Alsatian. ↗

— Helen Fielding

#humour #power #thirties #twenties #women

What the hell was she doing on the nonhostage side of a handgun? ↗

— Suzanne Brockmann

#humour #military-romance #romance #romantic-suspense #funny

But who wants to be foretold the weather? It is bad enough when it comes, without our having the misery of knowing about it beforehand. ↗

— Jerome K. Jerome

#humour #weather #humor

How do you know?” “Well, I don’t, I’m making this up, but I bet I’m right. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#cute #funny #humour #romance #romantic

Gomst's mouth framed a 'no', but every other muscle in him said 'yes'. You'd think priests would be better liars, what with their jobs and all. ↗

— Mark Lawrence

#humour #liars #lie #priests #funny

Fifteen minutes later, Justin looks at his pint of blood with pride. He doesn't want it to go to some stranger, he almost wants to bring it to the hospital himself, survey the wards and present it to someone special, for it's the first thing to come straight from his heart in a very long time. ↗

— Cecelia Ahern

#heart #humour #random #funny

You will be interested to hear, Hilary, that it [the drug] had a most remarkable effect — even on Selena after a very modest quantity. She cast off all conventional restraints and devoted herself without shame to the pleasure of the moment." I asked for particulars of this uncharacteristic conduct. "She took from her handbag a paperback edition of Pride and Prejudice and sat on the sofa reading it, declining all offers of conversation. ↗

— Sarah Caudwell

#humour #jane-austen #hilarious

I want a Zero Tolerance policy on All The Patriarchal Bullshit. ↗

— Caitlin Moran

#humour #feminism

Honest to God, she was the noisiest woman he'd ever been shot at with. ↗

— Jill Shalvis

#humour #romance #romantic-suspense #funny