#humour

...our witness, one Edward Littleton, was a gay as Elton John's handbag. ↗

— Ann Somerville

#funny #gay #homosexuality #humor #humour

Bailey, where’s your hat?” “In my pocket, sir!” “Why isn’t it on your head?” “Because I can’t get my head in my pocket, sir! ↗

— Robyn Carr

#humour #funny

I wanted to remind you that you do not allow me to deliver boats, as I have been known to crash them. ↗

— Jennifer Echols

#humour #young-adult-fiction #young-adult-romance #funny

She couldn't help thinking that something was wrong with a person had more shoes than books in their home. ↗

— Victoria Connelly

#bookworms #chick-lit #girly #humour #reading

...I have to go home and get a few things done. If I don’t get out the Pledge soon, the dust bunnies are going to be leaving tracks on my furniture... ↗

— Carla Foft

#humour #work #home

I'm too young, too smart and too good-looking to die. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#humour #humor

Rhett: If you've made up your mind to impale someone, do it with conviction. ↗

— Rowena Cherry

#fantasy #futuristic #humor #humour #rhett

I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I lied, I like your Star Wars sheets, you're not that bad of a driver, and I swear on my Very Cherry lip gloss that I will never lie to you again. ↗

— Gemma Halliday

#humour #humor

Not going to walk me to the door?" I asked, pretending to be shocked at his lack of gallantry. "Of course I am. many would think that a bonny lass such as yerself wouldst be able to stay out of trouble for a distance of fifteen feet, but I know better." "Did you just use the words yerself and wouldst in the same sentence? You can't be a pirate and a courtier at the same time, Dev. It just isn't done. ↗

— Jennifer Lynn Barnes

#humor #humour #humor

I can't forget things, or ignore them-bad things that happen," I said. "I'm a lay-it-all-out person, a dwell-on-it person, an obsess-about-it person. If I hold things in and try to forget or pretend, I become a madman and have panic attacks. I have to talk. ↗

— E. Lockhart

#girls #humor #humorous #humour #humor